Mother's Love

My Own Mother

"What is wrong with that child?"

Azula stopped dead in her tracks.

It seemed like forever before she could gather the strength to make sense of her thoughts. She could hear blood rushing in her ears. Had she just heard what she thought she heard?

      Of course, Azula had always known that her mother was fonder of Zuko than herself. Yet for some reason this didn't help the sting of the knife that had embedded itself in the girl's heart. No, she cursed herself. Emotions are weakness.

      Azula's limbs finally started working. She shook those... those feelings out of her head and ran on, faster and faster. Away from the her mother. From those words. She clenched her teeth and pushed down the pain- after all, feeling wasn't going to get her anywhere. And besides, her mother knew nothing of her- Azula wasn't going to listen to her. She had no reason to.

And yet, as she ran, Azula couldn't help but feel she'd left a piece of her heart behind her.

"My own mother thought I was a monster." Azula stared into the dying embers, her voice low.

'What is wrong with that child?'

Her mother's voice rang in her ears. She remembered that moment, clear as the day she heard it. Ursa had been disappointed in her, even then. She'd never loved Azula. Not as much as Zuko. And then she had the audacity to ask what was wrong with her own child. You never told me how to improve myself in your eyes. How was I supposed to know what to do? It was always Zuko, Zuko, Zuko. Never me.

Azula realised how long a silence had passed. Too long, in which she was showing too much emotion. Too much weakness. People would start suspecting it. Working it out. She couldn't afford that. She needed to throw them off the scent. Quickly. How was she supposed to cover this up?

"She was right, of course, but it still hurt." Azula dismissed her thoughts with a forced joke. Nobody seemed to make anything of it and she couldn't help but feel relieved. But a quiet voice in the back of her head whispered,

Maybe she was right. Maybe I am a monster.