Fear is an animal, and I walk mine on a leash.
Trembling hands, scabbed lips, shaky voice, and jumpy nature; I am the walking embodiment of everything that fear wants to do to you. But, I never knew exactly what I was afraid of.
As a child, you're afraid of the monsters under your bed and the ghosts hiding in your closet, and when you have a nightmare you're always running into your parents' room and crying because the big, bad man is coming to get you. I've been stuck with crying in my own bedroom about my nightmares for the past nineteen years, and I'm not quite sure why I had to be the one stuck with this horrible thing that interrupted such a peaceful thing like sleep.
I, Michael Clifford, have realized that I am most certainly afraid of death. I never have been before now.
The only thing worse than having a nightmare every night of my life is waking up and thinking it's going to become real. Death is a real life nightmare, that's why I'm so afraid of it; It never stops and eventually you're going to die. It repeats and repeats and repeats.
There's this boy, I don't even know who he is, but for the first time in my life a single element of my nightmares is repetitive and won't seem to go away: the boy.
gor·geous • /ˈɡôrjəs/
adjective, meaning
1: beautiful; very attractive.
2: very pleasant.
night·mare • /ˈnītˌmer/
noun, meaning
1: a frightening or unpleasant dream.
2: a terrifying or very unpleasant experience or prospect.
3: a person, thing, or situation that is very difficult to deal with.
Two words that should never go together, an oxymoron. My nightmares certainly aren't gorgeous, what goes on in my head is anything but. This boy, though—he's beyond gorgeous, even when he's tried to imaginarily be the cause of my death for the past three days.
He's the biggest oxymoron I've encountered, the most gorgeous nightmare I've dreamt of and I haven't seen him around anywhere other than in my mind.
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gorgeous nightmare » lh ; mc
Fanfiction"I've had three dreams as of late. Each were of my death. They were violent and in each of them, you were the one who killed me."
