i wuz makin my way downtown walkin fast nd i saw this lil curly haired fuck buying watermelons from da mexicans on da street. He (( or she ?? i couldnt tell from a distance )) was shakin dem nicley and seeing witch one he would eat out el o el. I was lyke os shiet ma nems watermelonisha nd hez buyin watermelons dis true love we hood niggas. It was luv at first sitte bbz..
So I went up to da afro nd said " hey u el o el look @ me now !!! " and he turned around nd he had these stunning emerald orbz i cudnt stop strain day were lyk fresh peas i dunno. I explaimed " U da flyest lets go out " and he said " ur so ugly what even r u ur not human is dis da apocalyps r u a walker " and i wuz lyke o .
He wsas lyk we can go out tho its ok and i wuz lyke yey! So we wen to da bar nd got some drinks whoo nd he took me bak to his place nd things got dirty so he took my panties off nd i wuz lyk o nos i didnt wax and he didnt stop so den i wuz like sthap lets eat da watermelon u bought from da cholos hes lyke o.
so den we hears a knock at da door nd omge u wouldnt believe who itt was it was ron weasly omfge wait no dats edward sheerun den i peed everywhere nd harry was lyke da fuq is wrong wit chu watermelonisha and ed was like niqqa yo name is watermelonisha how da fuck u not dead yet and i was lyk o.
so da next mornin we went outside den the paps were errywhere im like da fuq u thin k i am im just a small town girl livin in a lonley world nd hairy was like she da luv of ma life den i was like da fuq u said i wus ugly nd hes like bby sthap u ma errything. i was lyk o.
den we went to da zoo nd we saw da animals nd guess who was there his home dog (( literally a dog )) taylor swift i was lyk o um hairy get her out of here feed her some cheese jerky nd hes lyk she harmless im lyk o. So lux waz wif us nd i wuz holdin her nd she barfed on me nd taylor started laffin so i cracked her in da face nd hairy called me an animal nd i went to jail and i wus lyk
o.
