Brighter Stars // Billie Eilish gxg

t e n

TW: kinda smut/mentions of sexual assault

"What's wrong with you, grumpy?" I ask Billie.

"Nothing, I guess I just didn't know you'd be at an apartment." She grumbles.

"Oh my god, are you jealous?" I laugh.

"Duh. I don't like sharing." Billie says.

"Sharing me? I didn't know you owned my ass." I joke, readjusting in the seat. Billie chuckles.

"What happened earlier?" She asks, merging onto the highway towards the hotel.

"My dorm room caught on fire and everything is destroyed." I say.

"What the actual fuck?" Billie exclaims, looking at me.

"I'm not easily shaken over this stuff anymore but I can't lie to you. I'm scared." I say.

"You think it has to do with the notes?" Billie asks.

"Yes. Absolutely. Why else would this happen?" I ask.

Billie is silent.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." I sigh.

"I'm sorry Carmen." She says.

It's quiet for a second.

"You kissed me last night." Billie blurts.

I look over at her and notice her face turning red.

"It was the wine. I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"You told me you felt perfect. You were happy." She says.

"I know but-"

"Why are you pretending like it didn't happen? Like you didn't feel anything?"

I stop responding. We exit the highway and turn into the hotel parking lot. The sun is setting and shining through the windows, nearly blinding me.

Billie hastily puts the car in park and yanks her keys out of the ignition, then turns to face me.

"I can help you carry the box up and then I'll leave, if that's what you want." Billie says. I try not to notice as she swipes her tongue over her bottom lip.

I nod, and without a word we step out of the car, grab the box from the trunk, and make our way to the hotel room. Billie pushes the door open and sits the box in the entrance.

"Let me know if you need anything mamas. Ok?" She says, as the door closes behind us.

"I will." I say.

Billie looks at me with her piercing blue eyes for a second, then turns towards the door.

Before she can turn the doorknob, I muster up all the courage I have left and interject.

"I did feel something." I say.

She stands there, still facing the door but I can tell she's listening.

"I felt electricity throughout my entire body. I felt safe. I'm sorry for being weird about it, I'm just scared." I say quietly.

She turns towards me with a look of concern on her face.

"Can you stay?" I ask.

She brushes her hood off her head then walks towards me, grabs my face, and kisses me. I deepen the kiss as she backs me into the wall and I intertwine my fingers in her hair.

She pulls away but keeps her forehead against mine, catching her breath.

"Holy shit." I whisper.

She runs her thumb over my bottom lip then backs away slowly. I almost feel insulted that she spent all this time flirting with me just to break off the kiss when I finally reciprocate.

"What? You're done?" I ask, stepping towards her.

"Don't tempt me, Carmen." She smirks, turning away from me and sitting down on the bed.

"You just slammed me against the wall and gave me the best kiss of my life and you're done?" I walk towards her and stand between her legs.

She laughs and wraps her hands around my waist. "What's wrong with leaving it at a kiss?"

I reach down and grab hold of the hem of her hoodie and slowly work it over her head, then throw it to the side, leaving her in a tank top. She looks up at me almost surprised. I brush her hair out of her face carefully and lower myself onto her, straddling her lap.

"Carmen..." She starts quietly.

"Is this ok?" I ask, bringing my face closer to hers.

"I want you." She whispers into my lips. I feel chills run down my spine.

Without hesitation I slam my lips against hers and knock us both backwards onto the bed, leaving me hovering above her. Billie wraps her hands around the back of my head and deepens the kiss, slipping her tongue into my mouth.

I let a moan slip out as I feel my lips melting into hers, and toy with the strap of her tank top resting on her shoulder.

Billie slowly moves her hands from the back of my head to the bottom of my shirt, and swiftly pulls it over my head. I disconnect our lips and free my arms from the sleeves so she can throw my shirt to the side, to be with her hoodie.

She lifts her upper body and smirks at me, then before I even notice what she's doing, she flips me onto my back and ends up on top of me. I lock eyes with her and catch myself gasp at the act, not even able to register what just happened. Instead of reconnecting our lips, her warm hands find their way to my bra.

She reaches between my breasts to undo the front clasp, causing my bra to fall open and reveal my chest. She says nothing for a second, seeming to take in the view, then slowly lowers her face to my skin to pepper kisses across my collarbone.

I close my eyes in ecstasy, overwhelmed by the feeling of her lips on my neck. 

For some reason though, my mind starts to wander as the sensation of her body on mine fades into the background.

The effortless feeling of bliss seems to make its way to my chest, making it hard to breathe. My mind transports itself back at the frat party.

The sensation of Billie's gentle touch feels cold and unfamiliar all of a sudden, and all I can picture is the fuzzy memory of that stranger on top of me.

My body falls limp and I feel defenseless as I try to banish the thought of his rough hands on my body.

I clamp my eyes shut as the memory of that night replays against my will.

"Carmen? Hey, what's wrong? You're scaring me." I snap out of my train of thought and notice that Billie isn't on top of me anymore, she's sitting to my side rubbing my cheek and lightly shaking my shoulders.

I involuntarily jolt up and cover my bare chest with my arms.

"Fuck, Carmen, baby are you ok?" She scoots to my side again and looks me in my eyes.

"Did I take it too far? I'm sorry Carmen, I should've asked before I took off your bra." She scrambles, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

"I don't know what happened." is all I can manage to mutter.

"Let me get you a shirt mamas, then let's talk."