His Love

The Return

3 Months Later

"Qian Qian, please open the door." her mothers soft voice called from the corridor and becoming worried.  She had not left the house since Ye Huas disappearance and nor had she returned to Kunlun Mountain to welcome back her Shifu who had been asking for her.

"Mother please.....  I just want to be left alone." she sighed tiredly and just wanting everyone just go away.

"No.  I did not travel thousands of miles, to be rudely ignored.  Open the door!"  She snapped and this time forcing her daughter to quickly open the door only to jump back when at the sudden gasp her mother was unable to contain.

"Oh darling...." she whispered as the red eyed, pale faced woman came into view.  She looked as if she had been crying non stop for months.  She had lost weight and looked so deathly white, that her mother immediately dragged her into her arms.

"Mother...... he's gone...." her voice immediately broke before she completely collapsed against the warm shoulder that offered a little warmth but no real comfort.

"I know darling.  He has gone but locking yourself away from the world is neither healthy nor the best way to honour his memory." she gently chided her while also guiding her out the door and into the main den where the rest of the family were waiting to comfort her.

For three months she had remained in the den, locked away from everyone and everything.  She refused all visitors and even the call from her Shifu to present herself.  Nothing anyone said or did could get her to move beyond the grief which sadly, had taken its toll on her.  She was fragile, both physically and mentally, but her brother Bai Zhen knew if anyone could talk to her, it would be their mother.  So he sent an urgent message for her to return.

"He would not want you to be hurting yourself like this...." she continued to whisper as her brothers, Bai Zhi and Zhe Yan opened their arms to enfold her in a family embrace, one that shook her to the core.  

She neither hated it nor liked it, but a small measure of their love for her did make it through the fog in her mind, because the deep rasping sobs exploded as every head there lay itself on top of her own.

It felt as if the past three months of despair and agony was being swept away and for a few seconds, she hated it so much she wanted to scream.  She wanted to be depressed, she wanted to cry.  She'd wanted to die and join him in the void.  But as their soft words of condolences and love began to break through the barrier over her heart and mind, a flicker of light slowly began to glow and a tiny glimmer bit of hope that she would get through it had her finally raising her arms to welcome them in.

It took an enormous amount of effort to get her to this point, but it was one they knew they could all now work on.  And that meant, being a constant reminder that she still had something to live for.  She needed to eat and regain her health and then turn her attention to her people, who also wanted to support her through it.

"They wouldn't even let me attend his funeral....." she whimpered against her father who held her tightly in his arms and growing angry with her.  "They said because there was no body to bury, there could be no state funeral.    So they held a private service for him instead and I wasn't invited." she continued to cry against him.

It was so unfair.  They were meant to marry, they had already undergone a marriage trial and a contract between both tribes had been accepted, yet they had all but shut her out despite his deep love for her.  A love that had spanned three life times and one he had fought hard to resurrect having thought he had lost her after her trial.  But to her mind, not even Ye Huas love for her was enough in the end, because she was not welcome.  And it hurt.