A fairytale without name (Rose and Marco)

Chapter 36

Rose

Watching reruns of Sons of Anarchy while cooking was not a good idea. Although I knew the lines by heart and practically answered instead of Tara whenever Jax asked a question, I couldn't help but admire Charlie Hunnam's.... uhm acting talent and forget about anything else I was doing. That's how I ended up almost burning my beautiful roast lamb. I was sure my grandma was looking at me from the sky right now, laughing her heart out. She always complained about my being distracted whenever I tried to cook. I saved this one grandma, don't worry.

I almost ruined my surprise dinner and I got really mad at myself for being upset. Why should I try this hard? He should like me for exactly how I was, not for a perfect image I should create just to impress him for a night. After I had cleaned up the kitchen and saved my precious food, I could finally watch my show without interruptions. And then it hit me. I was Tara and Marco was Jax. I was living something similar to what was happening in the series. The main character was an outlaw and while he made great efforts to protect his loved ones, he found it all the more difficult as he went deeper and deeper in the world of crime. He tried to change his life more than once, to be a good husband and father to his children but there was no way he could get away from the life he was so used to for years. Would I have to face situations similar to what happened in the series? It was just a show but somehow it felt so relatable at that moment. Someone had made those things up, right? But then again was it crazy to think that reality wasn't far from a TV program? Who was I to deny that art mimics life?

On the other hand, I felt like I was thinking too far ahead. Maybe what I felt for Marco was a simple infatuation. Maybe I should just try to focus on having a good time and see how it went. That seemed more logical but the thought that I would end up like Tara, dead, wasn't helping. Shaking the stupid thoughts off my head and after crying my eyes out because season three got me every time, I had to take the third shower for the day.

Setting the table and creating what I thought was a romantic atmosphere, I checked my phone for the umpteenth time. Still nothing and I started to get a little worried. What if whatever he had to deal with, went wrong? What if he was hurt and that's why he didn't call me back? I tried to call him once more, but it went straight to voicemail again. This time, I did leave him a message, asking him to call me back as soon as he got that.

Pacing back and forth in my living room wasn't at all helpful. The bottle of gin was winking at me, but I resisted the urge to calm my nerves with alcohol again. After last night's fiasco, I was determined to stay away from liquor of any kind for as long as I could. What would have happened if Marco hadn't been there? Where would have I ended up? I needed to have a word with Claire tomorrow about letting me leave with a stranger. I was still disappointed in her and I needed her to know that I wasn't okay with that. I made a cup of tea instead which was both safer and healthier. I could do this.

Taking a look outside of the window, I sighed watching the sun dipping below the horizon creating the most beautiful combination of colors. I stepped outside in the balcony and just admired the city being painted in red and yellow. It was a beautiful sight and it reminded me so much of that morning he took me to the bridge. We were watching the same colors from the rising sun and it was the happiest day of my life before hell broke out.

Taking a sip from my tea, I lit the first cigarette of the day. I hadn't noticed it until then but I hadn't smoked at all since last night. That was a first for me and it made me feel strangely happy. Maybe it was time I quit smoking. My mother would be thrilled to hear me say that. I changed my mind after the second drag, but it was worth the try.

My cup was now empty, the small astray full and my mind a mess. I thought of calling Jay. He might know where Marco was or what had happened. I knew we agreed not to talk about that side of his life ever again, but that was an emergency, right? I wasn't inquiring about his dealings or anything else. I just needed someone to confirm that Marco was alright.