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TW: self harm(scratching specifically ),crying , panic attack
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"TOMMYINNITT !"
"MR TOMMY!"
"OI TOM"
"CHOMMYINNITT"
"TOMMMYYYY!"
"OH MY GOD ITS TOMMYINNIT!"
I turned to Jack, we were at big Tescos and we kept being bombarded with people, don't get me wrong it's exciting I love meeting everyone, but today was different. "I think im gonna grab some toilet paper." He said, he looked at me looking for approval. "I kinda want some brownies if thats alright?" Jack was grabbing the toilet roll while I got some more pastries.
"Oi aren't you that loud guy on Twitch?" I turned to see this guy who was suprisingly taller then me, he looked like a fucking road men if I'm being honest. "I'm Tommyinnitt yes." He simply laughed and pushed me a bit, "Maybe try being a bit less loud, its fucking annoying, and your laugh oh god dont get me started on your fucking laugh , do better mate." He patted my shoulders and walked away leaving me kinda speechless. I clenched at my chest squeezing my shirt, was that really how people thought of me, am i that annoying, oh my god.
"OI ITS MR.BIG SHOT, forget about us or something?" Oh god not now worst time , i sucked in a breath and turned to see old friends from my old school. "Well we just stopped talking really."He thinks hes to much of a big shot for us, i remember when he was nothing but a band kid." The people in the group laughed and walked out, do people hate me this much, am i this annoying, oh god oh god oh god oh god. "Tom you ready to go, i got everything." Jack grabbed my shoulder I flinched so hard at that, I pushed his hands off of me and basically collapsed, "TOM WOAH YOU ALRIGHT?!"
"t-they a-all hate me J-jack.." He looked confused as i curled on the Tesco floor trying to breathe scratching at my neck trying to get at least an inch of air. "Woah woah relax Tom can you look at me please ?" I turned my head the slightest to see Jack of course, his eyes were filled with worry as he tried to figure out what to do "Okay um i saw this somewhere can you name 3 things you see right now ?" I searched around the store looking for 3 items anything that caught my eye. "Um.. Um., you, t-the pastries, the u-uh the shelves." He nodded his head. "Name 2 things you can feel." I shook my head, I dont wanna feel anything.
"No jack no, i can't, no."
I looked around and saw a girl around my age recording us, she had merch on, holy fuck. "Jack, someones recording." He turned around and saw the girl. " OI YOU ! FUCK OFF!" She shook up and ran towards the door. "N-no shes gonna p-post it jack n-no." "Shit you're right, um.. uhh.. the bathroom is two aisles down go in there and try to calm down okay toms?"
He helped me up and ran toward where the girl went. I looked around for the sign for the bathroom, i found it but it felt so far.. i got this. "I can do this." My feet moved faster then i wanted to but less then a minute i'm in a stall trying so hard not to cry to loud. My chest felt like i was goin a million miles an hour but my throat had no air, I sat on the floor and tried calming myself down. I seem dramatic but im not good with negative things at all.
"Calm down Toms, We're okay." I rubbed my shoulders trying to give myself at least a bit of comfort it worked and thank the lords no one was in the bathrooms, but what if someone walks in what if someone else says something i wont like what if someone just comes and and beats the shit out of me. My arms were now read from the scratching, maybe i could just go to Jacks car and wait for him.
"oi tom, you alright ?" Jack whispered low "I'm here.'' I stuck my hand under the stall and he walked over. "Do you wanna open up ?" I shook my head but he can't see me "n-no"
"Thats alright, I called Wil and asked him what to do he said maybe give you space or if you wanna tell me what happened you could."
I took in a shaky breath "I was just g-grabbing my brownies and t-this guy came up to me a-and told me that i-i'm annoying and that i should do b-better. Then some old mates from my old s-school just weren't the nicest."
Jacks shadow was cover the front of the stall as he sat leaning on the door just waiting for when im ready "I'm sorry that happened Tom, I'm thinking we maybe finish up here at Tesco and go to my youse maybe ? We can do whatever you want to." I chuckled a bit cause its what Wil would do for me but only this is in real life. "What happened with the girl?" He shifted just a bit. "I had a talk with her i saw her delete the video and she deleted it from her recently deleted so we're good there, but we gotta go we left our stuff out." I got up and jack did too, he moved from the door giving me space to open the door, he looked at my arms tho.
"T-tom hey what the heck, did they do this to you, did they put their hands on you?" My eyes went a bit wide cause i forgot about my arms, he tried tp grab them but i pulled away. "I do t wanna talk about it , im not ready to tell anyone, especially not in a Tescos bathroom." He sighed and gave me his sweater to try and cover up my arms. "You wanna wait in the car while i pay or do you wanna just pretend like nothing happened." I slide my hands through his sweater. "I'll wait in the car." We walked put and went different directions.
I walked outside and sped ran to the car and just sat there, no music, no podcats, no nothing, just my shaky breath as i realized i had a panic attack at a fucking Tescos.
Eventually i felt myself falling to sleep, after what happened today i feel exhausted.
UM HEY LMAO ITS MELLOHI, I QUITE LITERALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS BOOK BUT I PROMISE I'LL WROTE MORE JUST MENTALLY AM NOT FEELING GOOD, HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS WAS RUSHED 👊🏼🛐🐥🙄👊🏼🥲👨🛐🙄🤙😂🙄🥶🥺🙄🥲😐😊🕺👨🕺😟😟😂👨👨🕺😊
