Self Destructing

169 19 10
                                    

(Inspired by the poem Absolutely Nothing by Osoanon Nimuss which is also featured in "The Perks of Being A Wallflower")

///

Once upon a lone September
A little boy started school
He wore a coat that was too big
But that didn't matter 
Because it used to be his father's
And he took the bus to school
And he made a best friend named Tom
Unaware of insignificance
And he got to meet his teacher
She had kind eyes
Not pained and red-laced
And he drew a picture of his family
-Father included-
And his teacher gave him a gold star
And he showed it to his mother
Because although she was sad
She still cared
And later that night
The little boy reached into the coat's pocket
And found a bottle of pills

Once upon a chilling December
The little boy wasn't so little anymore
He was four years older
Not very wise
But not innocent
And Tom was still his friend
But not his 'best' friend
And he got responsibilities 
Like feeding the cat
And doing his homework
And helping his mother do laundry
And hiding the alcohol
So his mother wouldn't get drunk again
And she wouldn't cry
His teacher was different this year
Stricter, meaner
Eyes colder
And she gave him an A- on his drawing
And told the little boy that wasn't so little
To color in between the lines

Once upon a scorching May
The little boy
Who wasn't supposed to be little
Met his mother's new boyfriend
And he didn't like his mother's boyfriend
His breath was stale
And he sometimes hit his mother
And sometimes his mother let him
That was also the year
He joined art club
And there was a girl that he liked
One that he would never strike
And he accidentally spilled paint 
All over her drawing
And she cried
Much like his mother would
And his art teacher got angry
And gave him an F
And it was in that moment
That he hated himself

Once upon a frigid November
The little boy who couldn't be little
Walked in on his mother
Bloody and crying
And the boy
So much more like a man
Tried to attack his mother's boyfriend
And the boyfriend only sneered
Laughed in his face
And slapped him
This was also the year
That his friend Tom wasn't his friend
Which was okay
Because they were both busy
And the boy auditioned for a performing arts school
And got a rejection letter
And that was also the day
The little boy who couldn't be little
Ripped up all his drawings
And watched his future burn

Once upon a world of solitude
The boy that could never be little again
Was tormented in school
By a boy
With a somewhat familiar name of Tom
And the boy that could never be little again 
Was failing school
And was failing his mother
And was failing himself
So he drew one last picture
Of bleary silhouettes
And he gave himself a star
With trembling hands
And slipped on his father's jacket
And locked himself into the bathroom
Until he had swallowed the last pill

Self DestructingWhere stories live. Discover now