Asami's Shadow (Ryoma's POV)

Chapter 61

I slumped against the wall tired, but proud of myself.  After three long nights of attempts I finally got my first kill, a rabbit.  It was a tiny thing, but after going this long with little more than water and some berries that happened not to kill me... it was something.  It didn't help that it took me a full day and night to find this place.  I miss her and her ability to just do stuff, but if she comes... I need to be able to help her.

I ticked another marked into the wall.  Three more nights, if not then...  I slowly made a poor attempt the clean and skin the rabbit and silently prayed it wouldn't kill me as it roasted on the fire.  She makes this shit look so fucking easy...

Something was crashing through the bush that hid the entrance and my hand automatically went to my sword.  I froze as a girl dressed in men's clothing breathed a sigh of relief then collapsed.  It's her...

I rushed to gather her up, but she didn't wake as I moved and looked her over.  She looked in much better condition than I originally found her, but clearly she was still weak.  She lost muscle tone and a lot of weight, extremely light as I laid her by the fire to keep her warm.  She came and she's alive... now it's just keeping it that way...

As I stirred the food, I saw Sayomi move then look suspiciously at the fire.  Relief flooded me.  "You know... we should really stop meeting like this."  Her eyes widened as she looked up at me and my heart twisted when she tried to get up only fall again.  Silly tiger...  I went back to her side, trying to maintain my composure.  "Don't push yourself so hard."

Her smile undid me as I clutched her to my chest and sobbed.  "I thought in had lost you."

"It's okay... it's over now."  As she tried to wipe the tears from my face, I couldn't help, but hold on tighter because every time I let go... she was nearly lost forever.  "It hurts..."

I immediately loosened, remembering her injuries that I hadn't seen yet.  "Sorry..."

She giggled as she tried to sit up.  "Being fragile doesn't suit me.  What's to eat?"

All I could do was shake my head.  Yeah, knocking out your caretakers and running off doesn't sound very fragile...  "Rabbit stew."

She smiled, impressed.  Really?  I'm not that helpless... anymore.  "Well, you've learned to hunt then..."

I pursed my lips as I nodded.  "Learned from the best."  She burst into laughter and paused as she clutched her side.  "You're in pain?"

She smiled at me.  "I'm alive."

I blinked, unsure how to take her answer.  Instead of questioning, I filled a bowl for her and watched as she sipped and nibbled.  She looks tired...  As if she heard my thoughts she set it aside and laid beside me.  I followed and noticed a small pout on her lips.  What's she thinking...

"How did you know I'd be here?"

I pulled her closer, instantly regretting it as she grimaced.  Need to be more careful.  "'A safehouse is no longer safe if you know where to find them. You said that to me twice before you left and when we first came here."

She smirked. "You went on a hunch."

I nodded, inhaling her scent. "Sunako had only said you had left. She didn't bother with the details."

She became smug. "She never does. One of her redeeming qualities."

I pursed my lips.  "I don't know about redeeming. I heard nothing for a month after you left, other than the empress was killed."

She heaved a small breath as though debating what details to give me. "I was in a coma..."

I watched her, hoping for more.  Where were you?  How did she see you when she was always with Asami... you had to be close, but...  "I never gave up hope. I figured if you were dead, someone would have told me."

Her eyes clouded.  They would have... right?  "I'm sorry."

Again, I knew better than to question right now, she was here and alive so, I kissed her instead her eyes slowly closing. "Don't be sorry, you never said you wouldn't get hurt, just you would try to come back alive."

I could barely hear her as she spoke and her breaths became labored right after. "Well at least I did that much."

I lightly ran my fingers over her face.  Yes, you did...

Stopping when she grimaced, I continued to watch her memories new and old flashing through my mind.  Keiko... my first love and a memory I would always cherish, was a free-willed genius that only killed when necessary.  She was still very much a part of Sayomi... just forgotten.  She didn't remember how much joy and chaos she brought to Wu in her short time with us, but she did unknowingly recreate it in her new life with Shu.

Sayomi, the woman I loved... her qualities though still much the same took a much darker turn than I could have ever imagined.  Still a mastermind at pranks and puzzles, but on a much larger and real-life scale.  She was stubborn and uncontrollable, even to those who were meant to bring her to heel. 

I thought of Katashi, her mentor, someone she referred to as master.  He was powerless when she made a decision and her sister, the soon to be empress, faired no better.  Her pranks became life-threatening and dangerous to those who wronged those she cared for.  And for them... she would give her life without a second thought if it meant they were safe.  It was as breathtaking as it was frightening.

Asami, I found, was equally as cunning while I was in Shu, far from the whimpering, helpless princess she led others to believe she was.  My love's equal and lighter half.  Together they created an elaborate and treacherous plot to free Shu from Homura while keeping Asami as safe as they could.  It was like a game that they had created, but the only one holding, or even aware of, all the pieces was Sayomi.  She had an entire world that Asami only got a glimpse of, one she couldn't touch or even scratch the surface on.

Yes, loving someone such as this was dangerous.  One wrong move, one faulty decision was all it would take to take her from me and I had no control or say in any of it.  However, I couldn't convince myself it wasn't worth it.  Before I was chasing a dream, an illusion, the memory of a child who agreed to be my wife at the mere age of 5.  Now, she was real, lying in my arms, but no future was certain anymore.

When she left to complete her task over two months ago she never promised she would return to me.  She only said she'd try, knowing that it may not be have been a promise she could keep.  She wasn't blind to the dangers she faced or how fatal her decisions were. 

No, she was no longer the lighthearted prankster whose final message to me was not to forget her.  She was an unseen and silent death who had survived the impossible to protect her loved ones.  I sighed as I buried my face into her hair, counting myself lucky to be among them.