Chapter 23

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Phoenix

I take Axel home in the morning to get his motorcycle. My parents are already at work so we can get out without window shenanigans.  This disappoints Axel who loves window shenanigans especially second story ones. I tell him how ridiculous he is.

Axel is bouncy and cheerful, despite the late night.  I for one am completely well rested. I don't sleep well alone. I haven't since I got out.

In my dreams I'm still in that place, and I'm going to wake up to a hand over my throat. Someone sniggering that I'm a gay because to apparently everyone but my parents what I am is painfully obvious. I'd have thought the dreams would get better after years. They haven't. But they are better when Axel's there.
I wake up with a start and feel his head on my chest, arm draped around me, and I put my face into his hair until I drift off to sleep again. I don't know if he knows I sleep far better when he's there, though I suspect he does. At every available opportunity he curls up next to me like a puppy, arm around me, head in the middle of my chest and is asleep in moments, forcing me to lie still listening to the sound of his breathing, until I too drift off.

"Shh---they're probably having breakfast," Axel says, unlocking the door to let us in. His house is really huge, and his parents mostly let him come and go as he pleases. They vaguely know he's with me, but they are pretending we're really good friends and ignoring the obvious implications and lack of girlfriends.

"Why shhh? Aren't you just getting your charger?" he's not capable of remembering his laptop and the charger both at any given time. I have an extra phone charger for him already that I carry but the laptop no, it's special 'cause he has a Mac.

"Cause I like to listen to what they talk about when I'm not here 'military school' is a phrase often used----Jesus Fucking H Christ!!" quite loudly, as we walk into a girl.

"What the hell, Axel?" Brianna says, expertly blocking him from straight up punching her as she comes around the corner. Brianna is his second cousin not really type of thing. Adopted by some uncle when he married her mother now several family members are dead and she floats between the living ones. Moral of the story is she's not related to Axel and his parents think it would be great if she cured him of his gayness. Neither Axel nor she think that's great. That has not stopped various adults from shoving them together at every available opportunity.

"What are you doing in my house?" Axel asks.

"What aren't you doing in your house? Your dad has been complaining all night that you didn't tell him where you were?" she asks, folding her arms.

"It's not like he couldn't text me---oh my phone's been off, he couldn't have ha---well he didn't look very hard," Axel says, turning his phone back on, "I was studying."

"Right," Brianna says, rolling her eyes, "I said 'he's probably over with Riviera' nobody listened to me."

"Why are you here anyway? I thought you were in school in New York?" I say. She was sent to a boarding school she hated, last I heard.

"Okay---I'm only telling you this because he'll forget and someone'll talk about it anyway but I don't want to talk about it," Brianna says, pointing at Axel for the 'he'll forget', "I kind of—technically---got expelled because I went AWOL for a few days."

"Why did you leave?" Axel asks.

"Why did you go back?" I ask.

"Again---I am stating this now 'cause I don't want to talk about it again-----I left school to get an abortion which needless to say nobody in the family saw as a good reason—,"

"Did they want you to have an abortion at school? They don't do those in schools do they—," Axel was gonna go on he was confused but I shove him.

"So you got expelled and they sent you here?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says, nodding. She's wearing one of Axel's sweatshirts, oh good we both steal his clothes, and she doesn't look like she's slept.

"But they consistently try to push us together. I was getting that the moral of the story was that they don't want you to be sexually active---?" Axel says, still confused.

"Yeah, I know right? I said that and they all told me to shut up I was being rude," Brianna says, haughtily.

"Do they think I'm gay so you're safe?"

"No, I guarantee you Axel, they do not think that. I don't know why, but they don't," she sighs.

"Okay, okay what do you want to do right now?" I ask, she's not wearing any make up, and her eyes look heavy. She's apparently had a bad week.

"Go home. My aunt and uncle suck, but they're better than your parents---no offense."

"None taken. I try not to live with them—,"

"—I just want to go home," she sighs, "Not be in this weird town with your weird high-school where weird shit happens every single day."

"Fair," I say.

"Okay---okay guys I've got a plan—," Axel bounces.

"Shh---someone's coming," I say, tugging them both into a closet.

"What? Why are we hiding?" Brianna asks.

"He wants to tell us his plan which is never gonna work—,"

"No shh it is gonna work it's great—,"

"Your cousin has a two track mind I call it 'fight or fuck' reasoning," I tell Brianna.

"Shut up shut up I want to tell you this---but to be clear I know you're both not gonna like my plan, but I think we should do it anyway," Axel says, eagerly.

"What?" Brianna looks suspicious, "And why do we have to have this conversation in a closet?"

"It's symbolic," I say, laughing.

"Shhh, okay so he's what we're gonna do, establish our straightness to our dads and get Brianna sent back home," Axel says, trying to cover my mouth so I don't interrupt him.

"Okay," I agree.

"Why are you agreeing? We haven't heard it and you said his ideas are always stupid?"

"I know, but look how cute he is when he's making bad decisions," I say, putting my hands around Axel's face, for evidence of his cuteness.

"That's what you said when you gave him a five hour energy drink!"

"He was being cute then too!" I laugh.

"Fifty seven broken bones none his, three totaled vehicles and one stolen one?" Brianna growls.

"Again---he was being cute when he asked for the five hour energy drink also you wanted to leave that school too—,"

"And there were eighteen simpler ways to do that that didn't involve fighting our way through a mob and police line—,"

"You make it sound so terrible when none of us died or worse got arrested," Axel says, bouncing because he had a lot of fun that day.

"Precisely, and look at how happy he is when he's coming up with destructive ideas," I say, petting Axel's hair.

"Come on, come on, Bri, you want to go home you said? This'll work."

"See how happy he is? Don't you just want to make this sweet angel more happy?" I ask.

"Useless fucking gays," her face in her hands.

"It may even work, it'll just be ten times more dramatic than actually necessary," I tell her.

"Well, do either of you have a plan?"

"Does not doing your plan count as a plan?"

"No."

"Okay, no," Brianna glares at him.

"Okay we're doing this then—my dad is gonna come in here for his shoes in like five minutes— now listen closely—,"

"This isn't gonna work."

"Probably not but look he's so happy," I point out, "And he's not even hitting someone."

"We haven't heard the plan yet."

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