The Bedroom Blog

How I Met the World's Best Cunniligus Performer

Chloe makes a friend at the porn awards.

By Alessandra Torre

So I have finally met my first porn star. Saw his penis.  Got invited to an orgy.

True story.

It all happened at the AVN awards on Friday night. Which, let me stop and tell you, was an incredibly difficult event to dress for. It's their equivalent of the Oscars, so I wasn't sure if an evening gown or mesh stocking would be more appropriate. I settled on a cocktail dress, the sexiest one I had, but it still hit the top of my knee. I looked like a prude next to Tiffany, who wandered out in a low-cut mini that clearly displayed her lack of undergarments.

Our tickets put us at a round table with eight other guests, five men, three women, all sponsors with the exception of Ram Thorton, who, luckily or unluckily enough, was seated to my right. When I reached for the bread, our elbows touched. When I had a coughing fit, he offered me water. When I asked his name, he told me, then added that he had won "Oral Performer of 2013" with a sly smile, pointing to a pin on his jacket, as if I needed proof.

"Oh." My coughing fit worsened as I desperately tried to think of an appropriate response. "Congratulations. Are you nominated for anything this year?"

I cringed as soon as I asked the question. We were right by the kitchen's entrance, it wasn't exactly the place they'd seat a superstar. But then he started rattling off his nominations, and I let out a relieved sigh. One faux pas averted.

I don't know what exactly I expected from a man who has sex on camera, but Ram was actually really nice and well spoken. His hair was short and neat, not long or stringy. He didn't have tattoos or wear a gold chain, or guzzle alcohol or belch. He was polite, had impeccable table manners, and stood whenever any of the women at our table began to stand. Plus, there was that pin on his suit. Oral Performer of the Year. I couldn't stop staring at his mouth. At the delicate movement of his tongue when some butter smeared on his lips.

We were halfway through the ceremony when I felt his knee brush against mine. It was accidental but firm; he apologized as soon as it happened with a shy smile. I looked away with a casual toss of my hand, my attention diverted to the front, where Nicole had taken the stage to give an award. I glanced at the program, seeing her name next to the Scene of the Year award. A soft touch landed on my forearm and I looked over, Ram's fingers lightly pulling away. "Wish me luck," he whispered before leaning back.

I crossed my legs tightly and fought the urge to squirm in my seat, my eyes moving forward to the stage, away from Ram. Ram. Let's focus for a moment on the most porn-starry name ever.

Well, if looking at him had been a mistake, looking to the stage was even worse, as they showed a short clip of each nominee's work. And the only thing short about the clips was their duration. I shouldn't have been surprised, there'd been uncensored content playing all evening, but there's something intimately more sexual when you've met the person. When Ram's image flashed on the screen, stalking toward a bed fully nude, I felt my jaw drop. Couldn't tear my eyes from the screen. And when I did? When I glanced over? He was studying me, a slow grin sweeping over his mouth as our eyes met.

Then he did something I didn't expect.