Only Ash Remains [boyxboy]

Chapter VIII

~Thursday 29th January 2015~

"Are you coming, Rin?" Aspen tugged on Erin's arm, rousing the boy from his thoughts. He had been so distant lately, so lost in his own mind. There was just too much to think of, too much to cope with. And too much to deal with by himself. He had to talk to someone.

"I have to go talk to Levi about tomorrow's lecture," Aspen's pout prompted Erin to force a smile onto his lips, she was easier to convince if he didn't look so miserable, "I'll catch up with you a little later, save me a seat, OK?" Erin rose from where he had been perched on the little wall out in the courtyard. It was a nice day, not raining for once, so he and Aspen had decided to sit outside whilst they waited for the other three girls to finish their class. He was hungry and, yes, he would have liked to just go and lose himself in the mundane conversations that the girls would have, but he couldn't. There was only one thing on his mind, and only one person he could speak to about that.

"You're not fucking him, are you?" Aspen's smirked then, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Great, that was going to be the new rumour spreading around the college if Erin wasn't careful. If Jordan found out... Erin almost winced at the thought.

"He's straight, Aspen, don't say shit like that," Aspen only giggled, not looking all too convinced, "I'm serious, I wouldn't do that to Jordan. Don't fucking say shit like that," Erin didn't care how harsh his words sounded, nor did he feel much remorse over the smile fading from Aspen's face. She was a bitch, and Erin was sick of it. He didn't want to be cruel enough to simply drop her, or the other girls, but he was becoming more self-aware. Ross was doing that to him, making him realise that he shouldn't be OK with how people were treating him. He deserved better.

Erin picked up his rucksack, carrying it in one hand rather than putting it over his shoulder whilst he walked inside. He didn't bother to apologise for how he snapped at Aspen, knowing the girl would probably forget about it by the time he sat down with her again anyway. Apologies were worthless if they didn't mean anything, Erin was beginning to realise it was a waste to hope that the words might actually hold any truth anymore. It was just a way to lure someone back, there was no sincerity in the world anymore.

"Are you busy?" Erin asked, lingering in the doorway to Levi's office. Hopefully, if he was in there, that meant he wasn't teaching a class so soon. Erin needed time to talk, and he wasn't sure how long.

"Not at all," Levi beckoned Erin in with a warm smile, waiting whilst the boy closed the door, "do you want a coffee?" Stupid question, really, Erin always wanted a coffee. Maybe he hoped that the caffeine might perk him up more than just physically. Maybe he hoped that it might actually brighten his mood for once. Although, it never managed to.

"Please," Erin waited until Levi was facing away from him before bending down ever so slightly to place his bag on the floor beside the man's desk, biting his lip to avoid whining as he wanted to. He should have stayed home, another day off wouldn't make any difference, Jordan had suggested so. With his back pain, it wasn't worth forcing himself through the day. He would have been better staying home to heal somewhat before attempting his lectures.

"I was wondering when you might come and speak with me again, did you talk to Jordan?" Levi always got straight to the point, Erin liked that about him usually. Now? He wasn't so sure.

"No," Erin settled down carefully on the couch opposite Levi's desk, wincing all the while, thankful that Levi was still facing away from him whilst he finished making the boy's coffee. Erin glanced toward his rucksack, wishing for a moment that he had taken his painkillers out. Maybe then he could have slipped one into his mouth whilst Levi wasn't looking. The man would only worry, Erin didn't need that piled on top of everything else.