Julian's room smells like him.
His bed is against the wall, painstakingly empty, white sheets cast aside as he abandoned them, hurried from sleep into the subject rooms.
He has yet to return. He never will.
And all because of me.
We got caught. I was indecisive for too long, and by the time we resolved to tell them- the subjects- what their fate was to be, we got caught. And he lied; he pinned himself to save me.
I don't deserve him. I never have.
I collect myself from the cold floor of his dorm, coming to sit on his bed. Fisting his sheets in my hands, I close my eyes, willing myself to stop trembling, trying to collect myself.
Julian's given me my life, but he's also given me a second chance at freeing the subjects, at freeing my friends.
I don't intend to waste it.
I open my eyes, finding a sort of resolve. Dr. Paige cannot find out; I will have to be clever about this, especially now as I'll be under her eye after what happened with Julian.
Glancing once more around the room, I wipe the liquid from the corners of my eyes.
I can save them. I can save him before his punishment begins.
My eye catches on the corner of a brown item poking out from under Julian's pillow. Pushing it aside, our brown notebook comes into view. A pen lies sandwiched between the pages towards the end. It must have been his turn to write.
A pang in my chest reminds me he won't have the opportunity to in the future. I pocket the pen and slip the notebook into the pocket of my lab coat without a further thought; now's not the time to read his last message. I steel myself, silently planning my revenge.
I have to do this for him, for all of them.
Suddenly, the door buzzes, whirring open. Before they can step into view, I dart over to the white drawers adjacent from Julian's bed. I open one, making a show of rifling through.
Footsteps sound, crossing towards me. I steel my features and turn to meet the gaze of Dr. Paige. She's flanked by three other doctors, each equipped with clipboards and notable scowls. Dr. Paige herself, however, seems down, eyes drawn and strangely somber.
"A13," she says by way of greeting. I meet her eyes, nodding once.
"I came to see if I could find anything hidden which might reveal his further intentions." The words are sour in my mouth.
"I had a similar thought." She says, exhaling sharply. Her shoulders slump; her frame is shrunken. I have never seen her like this. "Perhaps I'm still trying to convince myself it truly was him," I do not miss the pointed glare she gives me, "though his confession was proof enough in itself."
I nod once more, each movement an impossibility to make. I feel stiff all over, muscles balking at the essence of falsehood. Still, I force my mouth open.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to you first. I thought I would be able to convince him against it. I thought I could save him from what he's done. I was wrong." At the truth of these words, my eyes water once more.
Dr. Paige notices; perhaps they work in my favor. After a moment, she joins me at the dresser and speaks.
"I too will not soon recover from this," she draws a shaky breath, "but you understand what must happen." The sinking feeling in my gut intensifies as I force myself to hold her gaze.
YOU ARE READING
Newt x Reader || A13
FanfictionHe was alone; he was fragile; he was scared, crumbling under the weight of a leader's role. He is the glue. She is bold; she is determined; she is confused, haunted by visions of her forgotten past. She is the trigger. From the ashes of a world dest...
