One day, a local scientist in the town of Bethlehem adopted a pigeon. Unfortunately, his pigeon refused every piece of food the scientist tried to give him. He tried using the scientific method to solve the problem, but that didn't work because everyone knows the scientific method doesn't work and is a waste of time. His son Pedro was eating Doritos when the pigeon flew up to him. Pedro thought maybe the pigeon would like Doritos, and it did. But if you give a pigeon a Dorito, it will want an enchilada to go with it. So Pedro gave it an enchilada. But if you let a pigeon eat a Dorito and an enchilada, it will want to burn off those calories at the YMCA. So Pedro took it to the YMCA. But if you try to get a pigeon into the YMCA, they won't accept it. If you don't let a pigeon into the YMCA, it will want to destroy something. If a pigeon wants to destroy something, it will probably choose another pigeon. So Pedro took him to the park to destroy other pigeons. If a pigeon wants to destroy other pigeons, it will probably want to throw them into a volcano. But this pigeon was different and it wanted to eat the other pigeons. But if a pigeon wants to eat other pigeons it will need fake teeth to do it. So Pedro broke into his grandmas house and stole her fake teeth. The pigeon was flying towards his first target when he was shot out of the sky. He was found with an arrow in him. Turns out he was shot by (really) old park ranger Rob. Rob was born in mid-evil times and is still respected to this day. Rob was going to be arrested for shooting a bird with a bow and arrow. In court though, someone spilled a cup of orange juice on Rob and his face started dissolving. He was wearing an invincible (except if orange juice touches it) mask. Rob was the local scientist. The scientist pulled out a jetpack and flew away in the confusion. No one knows why he shot his pigeon or where he is to this day, but 3 days later an undetected by radar tsunami flooded Japan and it was lost. The moral of this story is to not feed a pigeon a Dorito so you can prevent a major island being completely engulfed in water.
