•evermore•

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A/n: I used a random name for the ex in this. You can replace it with whatever you want..also...evermore by Taylor swift >

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the thing about being in a relationship for a long time is that everyone expects that to be your person. they expect, after the 25th date, that this is the one.

and for awhile, y/n though Xavier Heron , her college sweetheart, was the love over her life. but, when christmas rolled around, she decided that she had to take a risk.

she had to break up with him. there is no point in continuing a relationship that you feel useless working in. that feels like a chore to upkeep.

that night he proposed to her. of all nights, she thought to herself, he chose the one where i chose to break up with him.

she turned it down, and she left, leaving broken pieces of what could've been on the floor, no longer scared of what lies beneath the restaurant walls or when she arrived home.

she took the night train. she sat in her own hurt, feeling the creeping pain of an ending relationship. stability she didn't want any longer, but was scared to lose.

even when you're the person to destroy the love, it still hurts. you can no longer want something and still be upset over the happiness it once brought you.

as y/n got off the silent night train, the train station enveloped in buzzing crowds. she wasn't sure which of the two was worse as she walked the rest of the way home.

well she broke up with him, a diamond ring pressed against his pocket. his family ready to celebrate with popped champagne, splurged on expensive shit.

now no ones celebrating.

when y/n got home, she fell onto her bed and cried. drained her eyes of any dewy moisture that was left, let herself feel the heartbreak of a three year relationship get flushed down a drain and lost in the flow of old waters.

she gasped to catch her breath, staring out the open windows of her apartment.

she reached for the phone and dialled her best friends number.

"Y/n?" his voice was husky and dark. I did it," she whispered. "I broke up with him."

"oh god," Louis said. not in surprise, but in fear of what happened after. "should I come over?"

Y/n nearly said no, but then she thought it might be nice to have her best friend close.

when Xavier asked her why she was doing this, she couldn't give a reason. she didn't even really know herself. she just knew she didn't want to do it anymore. fight, try. much of anything.

sometimes you don't know the answer to things, but when someone's on one knee asking you to devote your entire life to them, it spills out. in the worst moments.

Y/n gathered all the pictures and old moments with Xavier and threw them in an old box. she didn't know why she was crying. she wished she could rewind the past three years and pause on the best moments. search though the memories of those and force herself to hold onto whatever she felt in those moments.

but, she tries and the memories just stop. she had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would last for evermore. that it would never end. she'd bleed the pain of what her life could've been for forever.

"Y/n/n!?" Louis' voice called through the halls.

she rushed out of her room and into the living room where he stood.

she flung into his arms, and she just cried. and he held her. they sat down sooner or later, and Louis asked:"do you know why?"

it was an annoying question, because she had asked herself the same one eight times over.

"..it was a million tiny things, i think," she whispered. "when you added them all up, it just meant we weren't supposed to be together."

Louis recognized the pain in her voice, the way she acted in these moments. she'd stare off into space searching for answers, or longing for nothingness. he knew she'd take feeling nothing over feeling this pain for forever.

he stood up and lifted her to her feet. when they were younger, they used to dance all the time. when one fell down the other would dance with them to make them feel better. as years went by, they danced through everything together.

happy moments. sad moments. they danced.

Y/n groaned, her rosy cheeks from sobbing looking away from him, but nonetheless her hand wrapped around his neck and the other in his hand.

"dance, y/n," he whispered. she looked down at their shoes, but she moved with him. Louis hummed lowly and softly.

Y/n rolled her eyes, but she was starting to not think so much about everything. about how she could be celebrating her engagement right now, but instead she's celebrating the fact that she's now at the bottom of the dating spectrum.

starting over.

she felt like she was once on a very beautiful boat. chandeliers and paintings, fine plates of food as glistening windows. she had sailed the ship for a long while- a while she thought might last forever.

but, the waves become rough at some point, and sooner or later she shipwrecked off the coast, onto an island that she didn't have anyway to get off of.

an island that she thought she'd be on for evermore.

but, on this shipwrecked island. she thought of Louis. she called out his name. in the tiny cracks of light, any gleaming hope she found, she dreamed of him.

and as she clung for life on scarps of leave and salt water, he was enough to pull her through until someone found her and bounded her home. she swore, in moments he was there.

she dropped her hand away from his, and slipped out of his arms. she left him standing there for a moment.

she opened a bottle of champagne and he watched as she didn't even pour a glass, she drowned herself in the taste straight from the bottle. when half of it remained, she put it down onto the counter top and sighed heavily.

she hoped it would stop the forever-lasting pain.

he walked over, and trailed his fingers up her arm gently. she inhaled heavily, her head falling against his shoulder. he played with the ends of her hair.

and he just sat in that moment with her. held her hand, and held her head. heard her without her saying anything at all. and in that moment she had a feeling so peculiar that this pain.. wouldn't be for evermore.

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Hi! I cant really promise yall that I'll update frequently because I'll be really busy up until mid june. But you can expect LOTS of updates from mid june. I'll aim for around 100 oneshots. If you have requests feel free to DM. <3

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