Cauchemar Camp

Chapter 6

The life of a slave is not what I expected.

My sister slaps the back of my head, "You can't know what happened in the part for sure, Dal. No matter how much you research Ancient Greece, Julius Cesar isn't going to jump out of a movie and tell you about his and Cleopatra's love baby." There are so many things wrong with what she said that I don't even bother.

We don't work, just go to the cafeteria every day, sit there with our bruised apple and grass water. We're left alone, no guards or owners in sight. After a while, we're removed, one group at a time. Some days they let us have the cold water showers that aren't quite showers, some we're forced to wear the same piece of clothing and live with it.

After a couple glasses of tea, the fights stop.

It doesn't take long for it to become completely quiet after the anger dies down.

I start thanking the Italian for the only cup of water I see in a day, he just smiles at me.

Every night, when I'm laying next to Wendy with my back turned to her, I think of his wife. I think of her so hard I start wondering if she's a he. It doesn't matter, but I don't want to mess it up so I start thinking of the tan line and cross instead. Maybe if I think hard enough his family will know he's alive.

Some nights, I think of Amata's brother, how I don't know what he looks like, or his name. How his skin would've been dark enough to see through the thin white sheet. How I know she managed to fall asleep when she starts turning and whispering. I think she's saying his name so I focus on the dripping water outside. I hope her family knows she's alive.

Adelide's and Serophine's family look the same to me, even though they probably aren't. Not with how differently they talk about their siblings. Still, I imagine them all to be smart, quick to a fight and slow to apologise. I hope they know they're alive, too.

I don't think of Wendy's family. Or mine.

Maybe because she doesn't talk about them much, maybe because I don't want to stain my mom and my sister with the thoughts of concrete walls and colourful blankets.

Still, I hope they know we're alive.

I wonder if Ulfat feels the same, if that's why I don't know if she has any siblings, or any parents. Maybe she doesn't, maybe she doesn't say anything because there's nothing to be said.

It's easier to think that she doesn't think of them so she doesn't see them in the tunnel when she's asleep, so I go with that.

(Maybe she doesn't want them to know she's alive. Maybe she knows she doesn't have to will the thought in their head, knows they believe in her enough to know she's not dead yet. Maybe they were in the boat too.)

It makes Mia's screaming at night a little more bearable, even if I miss it when I wake up.

———

The day before my first time working is the same as the others.

The water is just as lukewarm and just as grassy, the apple is just as bruised. Ade is just as silently angry and Serophine is just as silently proud. Adelide has a little less hair than the day before, not noticeable if you don't share a room with her, if you don't see how it piles up in the bucket along with everything else.

Minerva leaves us just as promptly.

Then she comes back. She comes back much too early for us to be going back to the room, even if we stop at the showers.

Wendy looks at me, her wide eyes filled with unshed tears. I shake my head, they've fed us too little for too long for our organs to be of any use to them.