Grieve

A/N:

This is based on Edward Elgar's Enigma Variations: Nimrod, as well as Ordermade by RADWIMPS. Please listen to both! I love how well Elgar's piece represents grief and sorrow, especially how slow and drowning it is, and how Ordermade represents how time can change a person, how someone grows up. This story covers both. 

A little oneshot I wrote at 12am on a coffee. Not beta read. 

Life is such a complicated thing. 

Consolidated with human emotions, it's even worse. 

Isn't it funny how people won't ever rue what they do to you until they realize you're gone for good? When your consciousness is no longer there? But isn't it like that for everything? Do you not regret turning in your homework late until you can't receive any credit at all for it? 

***

A campfire illuminated the night sky, a group of men gathered around it, chatting with each other, some taking sips from cans of beer. 

Jotaro sat by the fire on a log, his face being flustered by warmth from the fire, an orange glow casted onto his face. 

Kakyoin giggled, drunk and flustered, his body swaying to the side, cheeks flushed as he lazily held a can of beer in his hand, slinging an arm around Jotaro, making the dark haired man jump.

"...ya know...when this whole thing is over...we should live together...like....married..."

The words came out with a slur, though Jotaro's heart skipped a beat when he heard that, his hand coming up to tip his hat and cover his blush.

He's always daydreamed of dancing the night away on their wedding day, him and Noriaki. Their lips meeting over and over, smiling in each other's embrace. Maybe even adopting a child somewhere along the way. They could live in a small little house off the ocean shore. 

A typical, cliché love story, but one that everyone wants. 

Maybe it could be true. 

Kakyoin never remembered what he said that night, but Jotaro certainly did. 

***

People cry over things they cannot change. As humans we wait till the end of everything to grieve. 

Even life itself. 

***

Plop. 

Plop.

Hierophant's tentacles snapped. 

Dissipating on top of Jotaro, strings of  sparkly green slowly spreading out and become nonexistent. 

Jotaro knew what had happened to his friend. 

He knew he was already too late. 

He had broken his silent promise of growing old together with him. 

He hadn't even told kakyoin he loved him. 

***

Life is a flower. A wilting one. We are born, we blossom, we watch as other flowers wilt away, as we are helpless, those flowers we loved and grew up with, their petals being torn away by the wind, reduced to nothing. 

***

Jotaro's eyes were blank as he stared at the open casket. 

Kakyoin looked so peaceful, so beautiful in the silence of death, face relaxed, no tension captured in his expression. He looked as if he were trapped in an eternal sleep. How Jotaro wished Kakyoin would wake up and say something. 

But he knew he wouldn't. 

A strip of fabric was draped across the slim man's stomach. It was ethereal. Made of silk, shining in the dim lighting. A small memorial was behind him, a candle lit in the room that had a thick air of grief draped around it. A picture framed of his smile, standing with Jotaro and the rest of the group. 

His pair of  cherry shaped earrings gleamed atop the same scarf he wore when he first met Jotaro. Things he never knew defined kakyoin until now. 

It was a gloomy day. The clouds had covered the sun and the rain quietly dripped outside. Just like the day he died, the clocks continued ticking. 

Jotaro felt his hands shake as he held them together, trying to calm himself by steadying his breathing. 

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. 

He turned around to face the owner of the touch, eyes locking with his mother, a solemn smile on her face, tears glistening at the corners of her eyes. 

"JoJo, you don't need to hold it in. Mama knows you're hurting." 

She gently cupped his face. 

"You dont have to be strong in front of Mama."

He knew he couldn't keep it in forever.

Jotaro felt his lips quiver, hot tears fall down his face as he fell into his mother's arms, quietly sobbing into his mother's shoulder, her gentle arms encompassing him. 

He missed Kakyoin. He loved Kakyoin. He never got the chance to tell him "I love you" before his final breath. 

But what was done was done.

Kakyoin Noriaki was laid to rest later that day. 

***

But have you noticed, as a flower dies, it leaves behind seeds? It's seeds scatter amongst the soil, enriching it and causing other, new plants to thrive. 

So you see, after death, no one will remember your name, nor what you look like, but the earth will always remember what you did, for future generations to come.

***

A dark haired girl, only about five years old, green streaks marking her bangs, toddled into her father's study,  now walking over to his desk and climbing on top of his chair quietly, a small grunt coming from her lips from the effort of climbing onto it. 

She looked around his study, blue eyes scanning the area and falling upon a small photograph. She gently picked it up with her pudgy fingers, her eyebrows raising. 

"Jolyne?"

The little girl jumped, now looking up to see her father standing in the doorway, his white coat off as he approached her. 

"S-sorry daddy! I just wanted to see your stuff..." She quietly said. 

Jotaro sighed, now looking down at her. "Just...try not to touch anything, okay? I dont want you getting hurt" His eyes then fell upon the photograph. "You.."

"Is this you, daddy?" The little girl pointed to the man in the black coat, standing next to the one in the green school uniform. 

A small smile creeped up on Jotaro's face as he sat down on his leather chair, pulling Jolyne into his lap. 

"Yes, it is." He said, watching as Jolyne marveled at the  photo. The little girl pointed to the man in the green school uniform. "Who's this? Who's the one in the red hair?"

Jotaro felt his heart twinge a little. 

"That's...daddy's friend. He's..."

Jotaro pursed his lips. 

"The reason why daddy is still here today. The reason why you're here today. The reason I was able to meet mommy and have you." 

Jolyne looked up. "Huh?"

Jotaro sighed. He gently took the photograph from Jolyne and set it back down. 

"You'll understand one day." 

Jolyne nodded, now settling against her father's chest. 

The ocean waves in front of their house crashed on top of each other, eventually settling, stilling calming, a gentle sunset painting the sky with hues of yellow, purple, and pink. 

And the clocks kept ticking onwards.