Finding Life Again

CHAPTER 25

When Kai was a child, he always wanted to be loved, accepted, part of something as evidently he couldn't feel like he belonged to his family. People naturally become part of something greater than themselves from birth. There is your nationality, your city or family- at most. 

One of the basic needs of a child is acceptance at school. There is nothing more important than having friends to play with and just bonding with them on school fields. 

Kai felt invisible at home. His parents always worked or were away. He didn't know them well either they never knew him. They were great parents when friends or further family came over. They would play with him, respond to his questions or held him in their arms. That was the happiest time Kai had at home otherwise- it was empty and lonely. 

At school, Kai had friends and a sense of need to do well. He would participate in competitions or help his classmates in any school activities. He would study hard to have good grades to try to impress his parents. Over his teenage years, Kai thought that there was something wrong with him, that it was his fault that they were this way, and he didn't do enough. 

Little he knew at that time that they never had an interest in him in the first place. 

Moving out to the university was a big step in his life. Luckily Noah came along, and they could stay close, studying in the same city. Kai did what he loved, could freely be himself- regarding his sexuality, and soon after, he met his first long term boyfriend. Kai couldn't be - this is what he thought at that time- happier.

Looking at Leo sitting in front of a big campfire, the only thought that circled his head was how lucky he could be that fate dropped this man in his way. Leo looked back over his shoulder, widely smiling as he got up and walked to him with a portion of bread and sausage in his hand. 

"Do you want some?" He pointed at the food on the plate. "Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm good. Rose brought me some skewers earlier." Kai smiled to himself and looked forward at the fire playing on the wooden beams in the centre.

"What are you thinking about?" Leo shuffled closer.

"Life? Not sure. I guess everything and nothing." Kai shrugged, leaning his cheek on his arm resting on his knees as they sat on low benches around the campfire. 

"And did you figured out something while thinking so intensely?" Leo asked, resembling his position and looking into Kai's eyes.

"I love you." The words came out naturally, and they felt so right to Kai. Despite all the people around who ignored them lost in conversations, letting them drown in their world. Exchanging glances intensely, they enjoyed the closeness and cosiness of the fiery reflection on their faces and eyes, creating an intimate moment about only both of them knew. Everyone around was unaware of a meaningful piece of history in the life of one of many couples on Earth. 

"I love you too." Leo smiled softly, not breaking eye contact and memorizing the seconds and feelings they shared sitting on that bench.

"I wish to stay here with you forever, but I'm getting pretty cold." Kai broke the silence.

"We can head back. I know Rose will get back with Norman later, and there is no one else I know that much. I guess we are free to go if we want." He straightened his back and looked around at groups of teenagers and college students standing in groups around the fireplace. 

"Excellent." He got up, happily reaching out to Leo to help him stand up. They found Rose standing with her boyfriend and her two other friends, who were already tipsy, as Kai noticed at first glance. 

"We are leaving. How about you two?" 

"Already? It's just eleven, not even midnight, yet." Rose widened her eyes, not expecting them to go yet. She made a disappointed face, but Kai and Leo already decided on their leave, and there was nothing she could do to convince them otherwise.

"We are cold, and there is no one we know anyway. Will you be coming back anytime soon? If you are drinking, let me know, and I will pick you up later." Concern appeared on Leo's face as he talked to Rose and Norman while picking glances at two other girls.

"It's fine. I don't drink so I will drive us both back sometime after midnight. We won't be staying long. It's freezing." Norman told them, and Leo didn't need more to be reassured about their safety. 

Norman wasn't a talkative person, as Kai noticed since he met him. He also saw how his boyfriend respected him a lot. Rose acted more childish and immature compared to Norman, who resembled Mark in his eyes. They had some similarities, which made Kai smile every time he would notice them. Both were careful with their words, quiet and distant with strangers. Rose and Aida were talkative, friendly and fun to be around. Kai hoped they could meet one day, as they would get along well.

"You have everything?" Leo asked as Kai packed his bag, stuffing clothes and toilettes laying all around the room. 

"I think so. Almost all my clothes are dirty. I didn't expect that we will stay that long." Kai sighed, folding his dirty T-shirt into the laundry travel bag. "Have you seen my black trousers?" He started shuffling through the bag- searching for his favourite trousers.

"Sorry, I have them." Leo handed over after removing a pair from his bag. "Here."

"Thank you." Sighing and dropping a closed bag on the floor, Kai sat on the bed and watched Leo shoving his last items into his luggage. 

"How come you can't fit all your clothes?" 

"I left some the last time I came, and now I want them back." Leo struggled with the zip. "I'm glad I have a car. I will just take them in a shopping bag. Can't close it." He sighed in defeat.

"Yeah, otherwise, you will break the zip." Kai got up and headed to the door. "I will take my bag downstairs. Do you want me to get you something?"

"No, I have one here. I will be right behind you. My mother probably packed us already something, knowing her it will be a lot. You can take that to the car." Kai nodded and walked downstairs to see Mary mounting containers with the food on the table. He stopped in place, staring at the sight amused.

"He never cooks," Mary stated while placing everything she cooked in a big blue Ikea bag. Kai mouthed soundless 'okay' and went to give her a hand. A few minutes after they finished, Leo joined them and helped place the last items in the trunk and the backseats.

"I guess we are ready to go." Leo looked around to make sure they didn't forget about any single bag left somewhere in the corner or behind the counter. It happened to him too many times, and finally, he learned to check every space twice before he drove away. 

"Oh, I will miss you both so much. It's much more lively in here with you." Mary hugged them forcefully, getting rather emotional, and Kai could swear that she was on the verge of tears.

"I will miss your cooking, mum." Kai punched him lightly on his back, and Leo started laughing when Mary shook her head.

"Better learn how to cook well. If not, Kai may leave you." Leo stopped laughing and looked from his mother to Kai and back. His father sat at the table, ignoring all ruckus around.

"Yeah, you should start cooking for me. Listen to what my mother says." Kai raised an eyebrow ignoring Leo teasing. Mary grinned at them, hugging sidely her son and warmly smiling at Kai. 

"There are so many restaurants you can order from. You don't need to cook if you don't like it. I can always prepare something for you both. You just have to visit me more often." She went to give last hugs.

"Thank you. That's very nice of you, but we don't want you to go through all that trouble when we visit." Kai reassured her, feeling strange that someone would include him this way. 

"That's what mothers do. You are never too old for them." Leo grabbed his hand and pulled him in the car direction, waving and beaming at his family.