One of them has to die ✔️

Dear Henry

Dear Henry,

It's been three years since you left me alone, that may not sound that long, but it's been the most difficult years of my life. I'm just glad I'm not alone, not like you were.

I wish you'd told me about everything going on in your life, because then I could have helped you the same way Kelly helped me, well, maybe not the exact same way, but you get the point. I hate the fact that you faced everything on your own because I could have held your hand along the way. You meant everything to me Hen, and when you left I felt broken. Kelly managed to help me pick up the pieces, I think you'd like her. She's a lot like you and she loves 'the picture of Dorian Gray' almost as much as you did, she was my therapist when I went into the mental hospital for trying to kill myself, and I would still be hating life without you if it wasn't for her.

I hated you for a while too, ya know. You were the boy I loved more than anything and I didn't even get to tell you that. You left me without even letting me help you and I hated you for it. Of course I don't hate you now though, I just miss you a ton.

Therapy wasn't easy, it's not supposed to be, but I managed to get through it. You'd be proud of me. I also got disowned by my parents for being in love with you, but it's okay because Kelly took me in until I left her home at age 21, I know, that was only a year ago. But when I'd left therapy, it was still hard for me to live without you. I needed time to move on. I don't think I've moved on entirely though. You're still in my dreams at night and I still wake up wanting to hear your voice and see your goofy smile. People say that if you keep seeing someone in your dreams it's because you miss each other. They say that the person you're dreaming of is thinking about you too, so are you thinking about me just as much as I think about you? I hope you are, because I don't want to be the only one out of us two to miss you, idiot.

Oh, and if you were wondering, I'm still single. A relationship with someone that isn't you doesn't seem like a relationship worth having, but I know you'd want me to move on from you and find someone else to love, so I'll try. Love just seems impossible right now, but there is this really cute lady that works at the coffee shop. She has this really nice smile that just makes me feel welcome, but it's nothing like your smile. Maybe I should stop comparing everyone to you, that might help. But it's hard not too, you were the first person I ever loved.

Life is tough without my best friend. I still need you and you still left me way too soon. But I'm still living my life for you, Kelly and myself. I have my own apartment now, and my own car. Remember when you joked about the fact I'd never get far without my parents money, well the jokes on you now sucker. I also have a job, it's not my dream job but it pays the bills. I also have a pet bird with me, found him in a tree when I went to live with Kelly. He has a beautiful green colour, and you know my favourite colour is green. When I walked up to the bird it jumped on my shoulder and sang to me. I'm still convinced that the bird is a reincarnation of you, apart from the fact that you couldn't sing for shit. The bird is also incredibly needy, always looking for attention, that's another reason why I think the bird is you.

I've also made some good friends, they're not you but they're always there for me when I need them. I met them at work and we bonded over Mario Kart, they're good people. I just thought I'd tell you that so you'd know I'm not alone. I know you'd still worry about me like crazy.

Kelly asked me once "if you could say one last thing to Henry, what would it be?", that was my first ever therapy session with her, and I didn't answer her. She never asked the question again after that but I still have an answer. The last thing I would say to you is 'Thank you'. I would tell you that I love you, but I'm sure you already knew that, but I don't think you know how grateful I was for having you in my life. So I would thank you for being my friend, the person that made me smile, the person that I loved and the person that would always be in my memory.