⚠️depression; low self esteem; sleepless nights⚠️
I woke up and looked at my clock- 3:30 A.M it blinked. I sighed sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I had gone to bed at twelve so about three and a half hours of sleep tonight. Usually it was four, but this would do. I pulled my robes on and walked out of my dorm to find the astronomy tower. I let out a shaky breath as I reach the top. I inhale the morning scent and looked out over the misty mountains.
"Odd seeing you here this early", Dumbledore said coming to stand next to me.
"To you as well professor", I smiled lightly flicking my wand, but no patronus came out.
"Why are you awake?" he asked looking at me with twinkling eyes.
"Why aren't you dead?", I asked. I had been seeing Albus in my insane state of insomnia. He hummed and started down the stairs. I laughed half heartedly as he left. I took my sketchbook out and started to draw. A drawing I had been working on for hours before was finally starting to have form that wasn't just lines. Cold black feathers and sharp features of a raven with a skull formed onto the paper. I watched as a large black raven landed onto the railing.
"Hello", I said reaching my arm out. "It's a bit cold for you this time of year", I hummed as it flew onto my hand. I took a pice of fabric from my satchel that was sus usually used to lay on my lap when I drew in the cold, but instead I wrapped it over the bird. It leaned into my side as I looked off the tower of Hogwarts. Minutes turned into an hour and an hour into tow as it turned from two to three hours the raven awoke and stood from my side. I stroked it's head as the fabric fell to its side. He looked up at me and then took flight. I sighed looking at my watch before realizing I had missed a few minutes of first period, meaning potions. I sighed getting up and walking to the staircase. I climbed down staring at my sketch of the bird and skull, but now there were potions bottles and a wand with asphodel and roses surrounding it. I gulped and shook my head. I didn't matter. Right now I was late I needed to get there.
"Miss (l/n) so glad to see you blessed us with your presence", Snape spat as I entered. I didn't want to deal with him so I sat by my usual partner and listened through half opened eyes. I subconsciously started to doodle plants on my paper. Wormwood and sparrows filled the margins. Yew berries and frons started to form and I sighed as Snape's head snapped over to me as people were leaving. "Inability to listen and tardiness Miss (l/n)", he said in a low voice, "ten points from (y/h) and detention at eight tonight do not be late", he said staring at my paper. He stared at the Yew and I snatched it not knowing if he knew the language or not. On my way to other classes I tried to avoid death eaters but ran into Bellatrix. She stared me down. I quickly flicked my wand and rush formed around my feet. She sneered and let me pass. I entered the room of requirement and went to a corner me and Neville had turned into a place for plants. Mine however were messages instead of infatuation. I drew in a shaky breath as I attend to the wormwood.
"Detention?" Neville asked standing next to me. I nodded and he stared at the plant. "Snape again?" he reached for his peonies and watered them. I smiled lightly before going to one of the many hammocks and laying down to sleep until detention.
I was awoken by Neville shaking me and telling me I had half an hour to beat and death eaters to the dungeons. I smiled taking my satchel and heading to the door. Ginny took my arm and looked at me. "Be careful", she said.
"Honey I'm full grown I can handle myself", I said walking to the door. I opened the door and headed to the dungeons just wanting this day to end. I kept my wand drawn as I walked shutting my eyes as I walked through the dying light. I entered the classroom and sat in the back waiting for the professor. I started to draw in my sketchbook working on the raven drawing. I added shading to the skull before the door burst open and slammed shut. Snape rushed to his desk and sat down. It was a few minutes past eight.
