The Hedge

Endings

"Hey buddy"

"Heya Charles, where ya been? You're looking a little antsy. Something on your mind? Have a seat and hang out for a bit."

"Well, we looked at another house today."

"Haha, nice one!! Let me guess, Aileen looked around a bit  chatting politely with the real-estate agent, and then gave it a hard nope on the drive home? How many times have I heard this story over the past five years. What a waste of time, am I right??!"

"Well, actually it was different this time. She said she loves it."

Silence

"Actually she said she REALLY loves it, and we're planning to make an offer tomorrow morning."

Silence

"It has three bedrooms like we've been looking for since before Rae was born. Quiet dead-end street. We can walk the girls to school and there's this incredible front porch."

"Dammit you're always talking about front porches! Are you eighty years old? It's insane to care about front porches as much as you do. Pathetic really."

"You don't need to get nasty. I know this hurts."

"Well what about me? Do you even care about that? I'm not stupid Charles I can see what's happening to the old homes in the neighbourhood. The next owner is gonna tear me down and build some monstrosity just like they did next door. You know it's gonna be tacky as hell. There's no character anymore!"

"I'm sorry buddy, I hope a nice family buys you but, you know. We'll try."

"You know I really thought you were different Charles. I thought you cared about the neighbourhood. Turns out you're just a phoney like all the other losers around here trying to pretend like they ever stood for anything at all."

"Alright let's take a log off the fire. That's a little much don't you think?" 

"You're always complaining about space but do you know how many families have lived here happily over the years that were WAY bigger than yours. Did you know the Moretti's lived here from 1945 - 1970 and had six kids! Happiest family I ever knew! But I guess you're too fancy for that. Every kid needs their own damn room these days."

"Yeah that sounds terrible man. I'm sure they were great but I mean six kids? That's a real nightmare."

"Ok, hear me out Charles, you just need a little reno. It's very simple, we open up the main floor, chop the top off and build a proper second floor with three bedrooms. This is not rocket science."

"We looked into that and the quotes start at $350k. It doesn't make any sense from an investment point of view, it's just land value and the next owner is gonna knock.."

"You son of a !! How can you do this to me after 14 years? Is that all I am to you, an INVESTMENT?"

"Of course you're an investment, that's the whole thing about home ownership. Why would anyone take on all this debt and maintenance and stress otherwise? Don't pretend like this isn't hard on us either. We loved living here for a long time. You're our first home! Our children's first home, but we've outgrown you. There's too much stuff."

"That's BS and you know it Charles, you're all just too damn messy. You know most adults set aside time to organize their home every once in a while!"

"Do you remember Aileen and I walking around at night from the old apartment leading up to the move in date. We were so excited. Even then, when we were younger and the lure of the city was pulling us away I would always think how lucky we were to live here. Those early years with Griff were so perfect just the three of us, but the spaces really started closing in on us when Lyn and Rae were born. I'm sorry man but it's time. Things change. You'll always be our first family home and that means something..."

"I guess I can't say I didn't see this coming... the neighbourhood is passing me by. It's gonna take some time to process, but for the record I really  hope they reject your offer. It's probably too low anyways.  Also, get the shop vac ready I'm gonna let the basement flood again. Did you know the foundation is heaving? Haha, it's totally heaving."

"Yeah I figured as much. I'll keep you updated on the offer... We really will miss you. Probably way more than we even realize now"

"Alright, thanks Charles. Maybe we can throw a going away party?"

"Yeah maybe, that would be nice."