1, 095 Days Of Us [ Part 2 ]

I was 11 when I felt someone is staring at me.

I was grade 5 back then when I saw you. Your obsidian eyes were staring at me hooking my soul and fuck me for doing the same.

I was grade 5, 11 years old when I had a crush on you.

I was that young to be caged by your dark eyes and be hooked to be your slave, and again fuck me that time when I let that happen.

We were so young when you confessed to me and damn did I just reject you?! That night was full of regrets. Well I was confused of your sudden boldness.

I had to go to another school for my next level and leaving you feels like hell.

Everyday's for me that time feels frustrating.

I missed you smile. I missed you laugh. I missed your jolliness. I missed how you stalk me at school and I missed looking at you from afar. I am going insane.

Stella Thalania, you're making me crazy!

I was grade 8 that time when you came to my school as a freshmen. I can't hide my happiness.

I was grade 8, came from school to home when I received a punch from my elder brother because of you.

I was grade fucking 8 and started to not look at you. I was so damn dumbass to follow my brother's order to not like you just because he's so  into you.

I had to let my feelings for you fly to make my brother happy at the age of 15 I learned to sacrifice.

You're always flooding my messages so how can I get over you? Your chats were begging me to read it and since I am that merciful, I always do.

You one time texted me with an intelligent flirt.

"Kwasss! May banat ako sayo!" I creased my forehead wondering what kwasss means.

"I wanna be the sample statistic to your point estimate and the parameter of you're estimation. So that I can have a value to you." I mentally laughed at this estupida.

I kept on reading your chats and even  placed you on my spams for you not to know if I seen it or not. Idiot of me.

I had my first girlfriend at the age of 16. It's Jena.

I was forced to like her for me to be able to forget you.

Jena was your best friend and I am so dumb to enter in a relationship with someone I don't even like.

I enjoyed Jena's company, I really did which results me to fall for her but since I was a bastard I loved her while loving you secretly.

I thought I'd be fine having just Jena but I kept on hunting for you.

I one time saw you flashing your smiles to my brother. Those smiles that was used to be mine. Damn it Kian.

I was in my senior high when my girlfriend was rumored cheating. She did. Bullshit.

It's only her that I can lean on so I accepted her again, as my girlfriend. I've been with her for another year and guess what, it's still you, Stella whom I like.

I was 19, first year on collage when Jena broke up with me. She said she'll transfer in New York, I didn't plead her to stay and seems like it's fine.

I was 19 when you approched me.
"Do you like me now?" You asked asked full of emotions. "Be my girlfriend." I said.

Baby, you agreed. Is this dream? I had my girl and the guts to go against my brother.

Every single day with you feels like heaven.

Stella Thalania. The woman of sunsets near the seashores. I smiled at you full of love and admiration.

From our first to our second anniversary was all kept and treasured.

Everything were fine back then when father talked to me. My brother is sick and he wants his days to be with you, baby.

I have nothing to do but to let you go.

"It took me forever to have you, but it took you a second to leave me.." Does it have to be this hard to let you go for the sake of my brother? It's not my first time breaking up but I love you eh, and that love is unconditional.

When you said it took you forever to have me, I was so damn hurt, you know why? Cause damn no baby. The first time I saw you, I already know that at that very moment, I am yours. Hindi ko ba naiparamdam yun?

"I tried to love you.." I was so damn idiot to say that. Every single words coming out from me feels like my karma stabs at me and I damn deserve that.

"It's only her" was like a swear. Jena saved me from taking my brother's  happiness away.

"1, 095 Best days of my life..." Broke me into bits. How dare I hurt her like that?! I was such a scumbag, baby I am sorry.

Everyday that passes without you that time hurts. I kept on thinking I love Jena while the truth is it's only you.

I married her. That should be you. I imagined she was you.

Me and Jena surprisingly had two kids, baby.

You didn't even told me I had one from you too. How selfish. Hmp.

Now, as I was standing infront of your grave, beside our daughter with my tears dropping.

Why do you have to leave me like this?

Now, everytime I see the sunset, everytime I see the sea, everytime I see our daughter and in everything I do, I kept on remembering you. You're my best curse.

But you left me with so much regrets and one of those are for not saying my feeling for you.

And that is,

I love you so much my Stella Thalania
From then and now, I am a  Thalassophile and will forever be.

                           -End-