Shrek oneshots smuts

Call me daddy (Shrek x Jesus)

Just like Shrek's usual day, he woke up with his baby's cries and his wife complains about what an irresponsible father he was.

"You never do anything in this house!" Fiona yelled at him while putting to sleep the babies.

Shrek groaned and left the house, without saying one word he walked to the nearest church.

He kneeled and started to pray.
"God, if you do really exist, please send me a sign," he said, then he stood up and left the church.

"I hate my life," he murmured once he was back at his house.

"Dada!" one of his babies said.

"Shut up," Shrek said kicking her on the face.

"SHREK!" Fiona yelled.

"I'M TIRED!" Shrek said laying on his bed.

"we're leaving," Fiona said putting stuff inside her purse

"Where?" Shrek asked

"My mom's house, we'll be back in a few hours," Fiona said leaving the house

"I have a few hours to sleep," Shrek said covering himself with his blanket.

"Are you sure about that?" a voice said. But it didn't alarm Shrek

"Oh, Jesus is that you?" He mocked

"Yes," Jesus answered uncovering Shrek making protest sounds about the light that came through the window.

"I heard you needed a sign," Jesus said

"I guess this is my sign. Thank you, goodnight," Shrek replied covering himself again with his blanket

"God said you would say this," Jesus sighed, "He wanted you to have fun,"
"Fun?" Shrek asked confused

"You know... dirty fun?" Jesus said smirking

"I don't want to jump into a mud puddle," Shrek groaned

"Who are we, Peppa pig? No! I meant dirty dirty fun!" Jesus said, when he saw that Shrek was as confused as before, he added, "Sex, you ogre!"

"Oh... OH!" Shrek said standing up.

"Come on, shreky shreky Shrek, come here," Jesus smirked.

Although Shrek had a wife and kids, he couldn't deny Jesus's offer.

Shrek sat on his bed and Jesus sat on top of him.

"I hope you enjoy," Jesus said before kissing him passionately.

As the kiss was happening, Jesus managed to take off his and Shrek's clothes, leaving both members free. Then, Jesus stopped kissing Shrek and kneeled while Shrek stood up.

Jesus started licking Shrek's dick.

"Ugh, Jesus!" Shrek moaned as Jesus started sucking Shrek's cock.

"Don't stop, God!" Shrek said, then, suddenly, Jesus stopped and Shrek realized what he had said.

"Did you just-?" Jesus asked confused

"Nope, it was your imagination!" Shrek said awkwardly. To make the tension go away, he grabbed Jesus and made him bend over as started thrusting into him

"Ugh, faster!" Jesus ordered and Shrek obeyed

As time passed, Shrek accelerated but never stopped.

"Ugh! YES!" Jesus moaned as Shrek grabbed his long hair, "Now, let's turn"
"what?" Shrek asked confused but took his member off Jesus's body.

And in a second, Jesus was thrusting into Shrek with strength and energy never seen. He kept thrusting and speeding the speed without stopping or slowing down.

"ugh! yes! shit! Oh! JESUS!" Shrek moaned

Jesus grabbed Shrek's neck and started kissing it, then he whispered to his ear, "Call me daddy,"

"ugh! Yes! DADDY!" Shrek shrieked as he crashed his orgasm.

"No! Don't stop! I'm coming!" Jesus said thrusting even faster and stronger until, a few seconds later, he orgasmed.

"That... that was amazing," Shrek panted

"Indeed, it was," Jesus agreed.

They both cuddled until they fell asleep.