Chapter 1

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It was as if my heart had been ripped from my body.

Draco Malfoy didn't want me anymore.

Maybe it was because we had grown apart during the past year. Maybe whatever happened in that greenhouse really fucked up his image of me.

I don't know.

Every part of me screamed to find out what happened.

But every part of me also craved the warmth of my bed.

More accurately, craved the warmth of the person that was always next to me in bed.

For weeks, I couldn't bare to be separated from that bed in that abnormally orange room.

It took a month for me to shower.

Partly because I didn't feel well enough to be separated from my bed.

Mostly, I couldn't bare to be separated from that green sweater.

It took a week of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasleys, crying by my bedside, for me to eat again.

I was hollow for a solid month.

Then it got really bad.

For another week, I sat in my bed, crying my heart out. Screaming, punching, kicking, and sobbing, my way through the days.

Every night for two weeks, I woke Ron up with my sobbing.

At night, reality would set in and I truly realized what had happened. The uncontrollable sobbing would rack through my body and I couldn't fathom a life without Draco Lucius Malfoy.

It took everything in me to come downstairs for the first time, at two months.

It started off soft.

I sat on the couch as Molly made lunch.

It took ten minutes for anyone to notice i was there.

Everyone just stared. They went dead quiet, and the house was buzzing with nervous energy.

I sucked in a deep breath and spoke, brokenly "I keep hoping that he would show up. Hold he the way he always did."

We sat there in complete silence, before the kitchen timer dinged and Molly asked me "Are you hungry, dear?"

I simply shake my head and tell her "I'd like a shower."

"Of course, dear." She agrees.

I stand and step towards the stairs. I stood there for a long moment, before I asked "Do you know why?"

She simply rubs my hand and speaks softly "I don't, dear."

~

As I step out of the floo tube, Lucius states "He left about an hour ago. If that's who you're looking for."

I shake my head as I wipe my eyes "I just came to gather my things. Half of my clothes are here."

He looks me over, before declaring "Take your time. He shouldn't be home anytime soon."

I take in a shakey breath, before asking "Where is he?"

He clears his throat and states "It wasn't easy for him, either... he's been drinking, heavily."

I nod, before stepping through the halls. As I rummage through his stuff, I stop at Pincushion and hold him to me.

It smells of Draco.

As I hold the Eeyore plushie to my chest, I can't help but let the tears slide down my face.

Lucius speaks softly "He misses you, very much."

I place Pin Cushion down and ask "Than why did he break up with me?"

He's about to say something, when I hear the tube fire up.

He starts through the halls, and I follow shortly behind with a box of stuff. As I near the dining room, I hear Lucius speak "-and I didn't think you'd be back, so I told him he could-"

When I step out, I find Draco Malfoy stands in the dining room. His hair is white. His skin is extremely pale.

He wears slutty clothes.

Ripped jeans, a shirt with holes in it, eyeliner, boots, and beanie. All black.

He holds a bottle of Jager in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

All I can force out is a meek "Hi."

He looks at me, completely drained, as he returns "Hi."

I hold out the box and state "I was just grabbing a couple things I left behind. A pair of socks, a couple of books."

He gives a short nod "That's alright." He speaks, softly.

He has a choke chain around his neck and hickeys riddle his neck. When I look over his face features, he stares down at my necklace.

Reluctantly, I place the box down and remove it from my neck. My heart goes hollow as I hand it over "Here's your necklace."

When I pick up the box, I step towards the tube and I hear "Wait!" I turn back to find him right behind me "I don't have any other Harrys in my life."

As he places it around my neck, I tell him "I don't have any other Dracos in my life."

He shrugs as he looks down and takes a long drag "Well, if you don't want it, you can pawn it, or toss it out, or something." He looks up to me, nimbly "I can't keep it."

A flash of silver catches my eyes and I look down to find his necklace below his shirt. When I look at him, I almost don't recognize him "You look different."

He gives a confused look and I state "Less like yourself and more like yourself... almost unrecognizable."

He takes a long drink of Jager.

When he downs it, he looks at me in guidance "I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror." He gives a weak smile "Then again, that might be a good thing."

I give a weak smile as I have to force myself to remember he's not mine to hold. Tears come to my eyes and he interjects "I should probably get some sleep. I've got an early morning, tomorrow."

As he walks away, I almost start sobbing. He stops at the stairs and calls out "I'm sorry, Harry."

As he walks away, I release aching sobs. Lucius pulls me to him and I grip to his robes as he whispers "It's alright, Harry."

I cry out "Why does he look so different?"

He sighs "He's doing alright..." I nod and he rubs my back "Why don't I take you home?"

He leads me to the tube and we travel to the burrow. When we get there, he sits me on the couch and I bury my face in my hands.

All the Weasleys huddle down the stairs in there pajamas. Lucius looks to them and states "He saw Draco."

Hermione sighs, before stepping down the stairs and holds me to her "It's okay, Harry!"

I shake my head and sob out "No it's not!"

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