Notes: Kageyama Angst-Tsukikage

I Trust You

Hey guys!! I haven't been busy but my mental health just keeps getting worse. I recently discovered that I'm probably gender-fluid as well as pansexual. My parents are transphobic and homophobic so yea living with them is hard. I still love them but I know I won't be able to come out, for my own safety, until I can move out. It makes me feel guilty. Anyways- enjoy the story!

No POV
Kageyama and Tsukishima were excited for the weekend. The past weeks had been long and tiring. It was finally Saturday and they planned to sleep in and lounge around the whole day, enjoying each other's company.

Tsukishima isn't stupid, he knows that there's something more than a friendship between him and Kageyama, but he chooses to ignore it, he doesn't have the energy nor will power to sort out his feelings yet.

Tsukishima was the first to wake up. He admired Kageyama's face as the sunlight hit his pale skin. Kageyama's dark blue hair captured Tsukishima's eyes. He never realised that there was a blue tint to Kageyama's hair. He smiled and decided to stand up before he got caught.

He walked downstairs and found his mother making breakfast. He smiled and started to help her. They made eggs, bacon, toast and pancakes. All of Tsukishima's favourites.

Kageyama lazily walked into the kitchen just as they were finishing up.

"Good morning Kei," Kageyama lazily said as he sat on the table, "good morning Ms. Tsukishima..."

Tsukishima's cheeks went beat read at the sound of Kageyama saying his first name. He was taken aback as they've never referred to each other using their first names.

"Call me Koi, (ko-ee) that's my name darling!" Tsukishima's mother said happily. Kageyama nodded also smiling.

Tsukishima, his mother and Kageyama started eating, making the occasional small talk. They finished eating and Tsukishima's mother left for work, leaving him and Kageyama alone.

Kageyama went to shower while Tsukishima packed up the dishes. Kageyamas scars are still new so the shower stung but it wasn't too bad.

Tsukishima finished packing up and took of his clothes. He put a towel around his waist and then waited for Kageyama to come out so he could go shower.

Kageyama walked out of the bathroom wearing an over sized T-shirt that made him look tiny and cute. Tsukishima felt himself blush at the sight. Tsukishima stood up, greeting Kageyama, and then walked towards the bathroom.

"Tsuki! What's up with the scratches on your back??" Kageyama blurted out before he could think about what he was saying. Tsukishima turned around wide eyed. He forgot that those scars hadn't healed yet.

"I'm so so sorry!! I shouldn't have asked-" Kageyama started apologising but was cute of by Tsukishima.

"I-it's ok T-Tobio. Umm how about we sit down and I'll tell you where these scars came from..." Tsukishima said hesitantly. 

"Ok... you don't have to if you don't want to though!" Kageyama said worriedly.

"It's ok, we're close now, I want to tell you, no more secrets...." Tsukishima said. Kageyama and him then sat of the bed. Tsukishima took a deep breath before starting.

"Well, you already know about my brother lying to me in middle school, well he isn't my only brother. I had a brother called Josef. He brutally.... he r-raped me for two years at least 3 times every week. My mother walked in on it once and she reported it. M-my dad left us because he thinks I was overreacting. Josef is in jail and sadly he still left his marks on me. For the longest amount of time I blamed myself on this happening. I never once thought that it wasn't me.... I guess reading your journal just reminded me of myself a few years ago and I wanted to help.... yea so these scars are from my brother..." Tsukishima said. He was fighting back tears, he didn't want to cry in front of Kageyama.

"Thank you for trusting me and telling me all of this... I was just wondering how did you get over everything or move past it?... again you don't have to answer!" Kageyama said nervously. He wants to get better. He knows his mental health isn't the best.

"I had to take anxiety pills and depression pills for a year. I also went to therapy. It started of as an everyday thing but now I only go once a month. If you're willing to seek help, I'd gladly take you to my therapist later today.... only if you are ready though. It is good for your mental health." Tsukishima said. He slowly moved closer to Kageyama. Just feeling his body heat calmed him down. Tsukishima would never admit it out loud but Kageyama's scent is very calming. He smells an ocean except less salty.

"I'd be happy if you could come with me to see your therapist.... thank you for sharing all of this with me! I'm really grateful Kei!" Kageyama said as he hugged Tsukishima. Tsukishima chuckled and hugged the cute boy back.

He then stood up and went to the shower with his change of clothes. Kageyama changed into some nice clothes ready to meet Tsukishima's, and hopefully his new, therapist. Tsukishima finished getting ready and they headed out. It was a short walk across the road.

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They arrived at the house and were greeted by a vibrant young looking person. They all sat down on the dining room table and Kageyama got to know them better.

The therapist goes by all pronouns and is bigender. Kageyama got along with her very well. He was super nice and they had loads in common. They also played volleyball when he was younger.

Soon enough they said bye to each other and Kageyama and Tsukishima headed back him together. They walked in silence, side by side, shoulders brushing. Kageyama took a deep breathe before holding Tsukishima's hand and intertwining his fingers with Tsukishima's. Tsukishima blushed at the action but smiled.

The yellow, orange, pink, purple sunset that captured the special moment in the background as they peacefully walked home together.

Secretly or deniably in love.

Haha! A chapter finally done! There's still more to this story doe, they gotta actually get together 💃