"𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀" - 𝗞𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻

"Page 1"

🛸Song recommendation:
I don't like darkness - Chase Atlantic

"
It wasn't easy.
Sweat running down his forehead and dripping down onto his shirt, Kuroo almost threw himself on the bench in the dressing room. The second match was about to begin in roughly 30 minutes.

"We absolutely destroyed them!", his teammates exclaimed.
And they were right, they had won within a matter of minutes and their score had hit 25 points after only one break.

Still, Kuroo felt exhausted. For some reason playing seemed hard today when normally volleyball was as easy as walking. And the last years had been good, great even.
His team Nekoma had won the majority of all games and they had come further than they ever could've dreamed.

The fame was exciting at first, became annoying after a while and was now a background noise of screaming girls and clapping hands. You just got used to it.

"I'll go get some more water.", Kuroo mumbled and passed his cheering team. The truth was that he couldn't stand the people right now, being told how excellent he was when all he wanted was to close his eyes and disappear.

The feeling had been everyday life for a while. Not being able to sleep even when he was tired, the weakness which seemed to have settled in his bones, everything feeling like it was too much and nothing at the same time.
But this state had passed after a long while and these past months it barely showed.

Kuroo didn't know why it had to be on game day that it suddenly felt the need to come back again.
It had probably been triggered by the small figure he had spotted in the crowd when he first set foot into the hall this morning.
It happened sometimes, being reminded of the part that'd always be missing in his life and it ruining his day.

"We made it! Next round!", a boy's voice yelled.
Kuroo turned his head to the right to see black and orange shirts. Karasuno. Right, the team they were supposed to play against next. Kuroo had never heard of them before but as far as he knew they were pretty new and apparently not very succesful. "Easy win.", he told himself.

Still, they seemed very excited. Most of all a red haired dwarf who couldn't keep still for a second.
Kuroo was just about to turn around the corner to the water fountains when a excited scream from the boy behind him made him pause.

"Kenma! Did you see it? My first real game! It was so exciting I-"

The world faded out. There was only darkness around him, drowning out every sound and motion, threathening to force him onto the ground.
The only brightness was a shilouette before him.

He had grown a bit, his hair was lighter. But it was the same seemingly forced smile, the same eyes, the same uninterested look.
It was still Kenma.

Kuroo allowed his gaze to travel over the other's body. He looked well. Not as weak and worn out as he had when Kuroo had last seen him. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
Just memories of tangled feet, one conversation and months of asking himself why he hadn't deserved a better explaination.

"Anyway! Watch me in the second round!", the dwarf said.
"That's why I'm here, Shoyo." His voice still sounded the same. Everything about Kenma, starting from his eyes to the way he talked and the way his shoulders sagged a bit during a hug like the one Shoyo was giving him right now before leaving.

Kuroo knew seeing Kenma touching someone else didn't mean anything. And even if it did, he had no right to be jealous in any way. But he couldn't ignore the slight sting when Kenma stared after the other boy.

He wasn't supposed to be here.
He should turn around, fill his water bottle. He should turn around and forget he ever saw him again, forget the small sigh and the golden eyes that met his as Kenma slowly looked in his direction.

"Hey Kenma." It came out as a whisper. If he had been able to think right now he would have slapped himself for letting his guard down at the first word, for showing his feelings when there weren't any to be given in return.

"Hey Kuroo." A soft nod, an almost unnoticeable change in tone. When talking to Kuroo, Kenma had always sounded an ounce less bored.

For a few moments no one spoke again. Kuroo could feel his heart beating harder and he was sweating again despite not moving a muscle. He felt trapped in his own mind, his emotions. And he hated it.

"What are you doing here?" Yeah, why was he here? He was supposed to be miles away, somewhere Kuroo didn't have to face him in a hallway, where he wasn't overrun by memories of his face and his lips and every little thing you could ever notice about a person.

"I'm watching a friend play." Shoyo. He was watching Shoyo play.

"You need to go now, don't you? It's starting soon.", Kenma continued. His eyes looked straight to the floor, like he wasn't able to face Kuroo, who was starring at him in amazement and shock.

How could he seem so normal? How could he stand here and talk so calmly when all Kuroo wanted to do was scream and break down sobbing, asking questions he never got an answer to?

"Yeah.", he finally managed to get out of himself. He couldn't stand this. Couldn't look at him without breaking. All these months he had spent forgetting, working on himself had turned into nothing.
There was no forgetting this.

Others might have said that he was exaggerating. That they had only been teenagers, still were. That it had to end one way or another.

But Kuroo had always known this was different. It had never felt similar to anything his friends had described when talking about their feelings.

He had always been drowning in Kenma - and a heartbreak and two years later being pulled down into the water still felt the same.