The Lost Happiness

Priya's pov

I still remember that terrible day which changed my life totally. Standing in the holy ground, where the kids, adults and old people play Holi in our state, Punjab, now I'm sitting here only, as it gives some peace to my heart, this is the place where I lost my son as a 10-year-old and where my husband died, now its been 12 years and cluelessly I'm sitting here and recalling the incidents that happened in my life.

Everyone is celebrating Holi with their families and friends...but what family do I own? A bitter smile escapes the mouth of a widowed woman and a childless mother, who is me. 12 years ago this was the same place where I stood with my son and my husband, and now I'm standing here with the air of colours.

My husband was a soldier in the Punjab army which was always against British rule, they didn't allow us to celebrate Holi or do any kind of activities, we should be their slaves or just close the door and be Inside our houses accepting their rule. But we all love Holi and we wanted to celebrate it and we never want to be under someone, so the head of the Punjab army with the men who were against the British army agreed to us and then it was decided we would be celebrating Holi, whatever comes or else it will be disrespecting God which we did not want to happen.

Punjab Army did all preparations for Holi and kept it unknown from the British because we know what all they can do if they will come to know about this...

Everything was going well until that day came, knowing it is a risk we stepped into that matter, even though everyone's face holds fear they were happy to be a part of this risk. At that time itself, I sensed something wrong and I tried stopping my husband but he never listened to me and he said
he wishes to serve his duty.

Finally, the awaited festival started, with the hues of colours in the air then gradually the blood of the innocents was also mixed, I searched Rahul my husband, but I couldn't find him at that time it was all my destiny and that is how I lost my Ashwin, my son, I held his hand but I don't know when his hands were released from me at that time, only his shawl was left at my hands. At that time I was extremely confused and searched for him all over the ground filled with blood, but till now I couldn't find him.

While searching for him I came across a British soldier and got an injury in my hand and someone came to save me and that was Rahul, he was fighting with the British soldier and when I about to go near him he fell with his sword and before I could reach him his last breath reached the God... I stood still with no emotion facing him and hoped for him to be alive but no he was dead, I prayed that didn't happen, but I couldn't stop anything! I have done something to deserve both of their's Loss, I was looking like a dead person my hands nor legs moved. I lost my consciousness and fell on the ground, now I regret getting consciousness and having such a life*a dried lone tear escapes my eyes thinking all those incident that took place in my life*.

Everyone said that they burnt my husband's body and gave me a widow dress and said I have to change into it. I didn't protest them, I went and changed to that dress from that day till now I never smiled for all situations my face had no emotion. As days passed I also believed that my son Ashwin has died hearing their commotions, days passed so slowly that I didn't know whether I was alive or dead, I don't know why I'm still alive, but I made up my heart to live for some undiscovered reasons, I don't think my son would be alive and if he was alive, he would have come to me. From the day I wore a white saree the people always prohibited me from religious and sacred festivals, I tried entering the Holi ground as it gave me some peace, I felt my husband's presence whenever I was sad I will go and sit in the place where my husband died, yeah now British people were thrown out of India and India got its freedom but I never got the freedom to even go to some places... I started hating my life slowly.

I have nothing to say other than crying, some people didn't even allow me to work in their shops, I felt disturbed as I thought of going to work but they never allowed me, today also I came in search of work but the scenario was Like as usual, I sighed and sat in Holi ground where everyone was celebrating Holi, small kids were running here and there, I caressed one of the boy's hair as he giggled and went away and then, I slowly kept my head on the pillar which was near me.

Suddenly I heard the trumpets sound and a wave of happiness spread over every people present there, but I'm not interested in seeing him, I closed my eyes and listened to the people who were congratulating him, I think he would be in a high position. But still, I am not curious about seeing that person. Someone tapped my shoulder as I opened my eyes and turned back and saw a man who looked like a warrior but he seemed to be a wealthy person as his dress shows, I was confused as he was staring at me, no one came to meet me in all these years" The man asked, I just nodded my head and I slowly raised my palms to join it as the man who was standing beside me was the one who entered, he would be in a high position, for sure as many soldiers were standing guarding him. He took his hands and stopped me from joining it. "Maa, can't you identify me?" His words confused me as I was staring at him.

"The son who was lost before 12 years from you maa, whom you missed here I'm sorry I couldn't come back, I was pushed somewhere and the Indian army only saved me maa, so I joined their army and helped them in the war and now I have returned maa, I AM YOUR ASHWIN!" He said and then he sat down on his knees, I didn't know how to react as I just hugged him falling on my knees. "Are you alive, Ashwin? Then why... I missed you a lot. I thought you were dead" I cried as my hands caressed his hair and cheeks. "I'm sorry, mata," he said, I looked at him then pecked his cheeks, I don't know what to talk about, I was lacking words.

"Maata! I know you are suffering all these years and now I have come back to gift you the happiness which you deserve maata! The life I am living was gifted by you to me and now I am here to give the return gift of a new and happy life in this Holi!" Ashwin said as he cupped her cheeks and started crying. "You are my happiness Ashwin!" I said looking at him as we both smiled through our tears.

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A new life for a widow is not about marrying another man, Priya never wanted to marry anyone as it won't give her the happiness which her heart lost! Her heart only craves for her lost son whom she GOT!

Thanks a lot for reading!🤩😋

Word count:

Prologue-77
The Lost Happiness-1324

END.