The One

I'm at James' house playing video games. It's kind of a weekly ritual. Every week I'll set up a date with some guy, then well either go to a restaurant or on a walk, but I can spare you the rest of the details because they all end the same way. With me and James, at his house, playing video games and eating ice cream. He's used to this by now.

James starts us off. "So no luck today either, huh?"

"As much as usual," I say while licking my spoon clean.

"Did you say anything?", he asks, looking at me with his cedar red eyes. He enunciates the "you" and I've come to know what he means by it. He means if I actually talked with control of my words.

See, my brain has this thing of shutting off in awkward situations and I'm left with my sorry excuse for a mouth which doesn't know how to operate without a brain, so it just rambles on and on and on until my date has no choice but to make up an excuse to leave. I don't know why James keeps asking me the same question every week. It's not like my answer's gonna change. Unless he expects me to magically get a new brain that isn't a useless coward.

"Earth to Ethan. You still with me, man?"

I give him a look that says it all.

"Oh well. You'll get them next time."

That's what I love about James. He's always there to support me and encourage me to keep trying. So I'll keep trying. Y'know, for James.

* * *

Weeks go by and I keep asking myself if things are ever gonna change. I've sort of lost hope in finding "the one" because for that I would have to actually "talk" with him. So I don't give it much thought when James introduces me to this guy in his bio class.

"Hey E, this is Owen. He's in bio with me."

I nearly choked on my sandwich. Had James been telling people about me!?! I wanted to punch him and I normally would've. I don't really care what the kids at school think of me. But Owen, Owen Shultz. He's probably one of the most popular guys in the school. And definitely one of the cutest too. And I definitely didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him. So I muster up all my strength to look at Owen and try to think of the coolest thing to say.

"Hey."

"Hey," says Owen, looking uncomfortable about the situation that was unfolding around him.

James saw what was happening and did the talking for us.

"So, Owen. The new "Age of oblivion" is coming out next week and Ethan and I were gonna go watch it. Wanna come"?

Owen who probably just wanted this to end responded, "Yeah, sure. Why not."

"Great! See you then," said James cheerfully.

After that Owen left and I still couldn't believe what James had done.

"Dude!?! What'd you do that for?"

"Why are you mad? You TALKED!"

"I was just surprised. It was no big deal."

But it was a very big deal. I know it was just 3 letters but it was actually me who was talking. He's the first guy I've ever talked to. Who knows, he might even be the one. But I doubt it. Let's face it, nothing like that ever happens to guys like me.

...I am not looking forward to going to the movies with James and Owen.

"Don't worry about it E," says James trying to calm my nerves. 'He's not gonna tell anyone. He hasn't told anyone he's gay either. He only told me because he was asking me if you were."