𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚

Chapter 30

Written 4/15/21

I sat at the table in the kitchen as Beatrice made me some breakfast. I knew she could tell something was wrong, but she didn't say anything.

When I woke up Cristiano wasn't there. A part of me was glad, I didn't feel like dealing with him right now. I felt exhausted, yesterday drained everything last bit of energy I had.

Beatrice sets a plate of food in front of me.

"Do you want some coffee Gia?" She says, with a worried look on her face.

"Yes, thank you." I say with a weak smile. I looked terrible. My hair was a curly mess, and the bags under my eyes felt heavy.

She makes me a cup of coffee and puts it next to my plate. I try to eat as much as I can, and quickly guzzle down my coffee. I'm barely able to finish half of the food.

I didn't feel like eating, or doing anything for that matter. I just knew I didn't want to be around him.

"Are you alright?" Beatrice asks me. I look up at her, and plaster a half smile on my face.

"Yes, just tired." I respond. I knew she didn't believe me. She takes my plate and cup to the sink.

"The Don is always in bad state of mind this time of year. He'll calm down in a few weeks."

I look at her confused, I didn't understand. I knew what would be making him upset, his parents death. I just didn't understand what she meant by bad state of mind.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask. She looks at me and sighs.

"Around the same time last year I was cooking dinner. Cristiano came into the kitchen out of nowhere and began smashing everything in sight. The plates, the glasses, the cabinets, everything. All in a fit of rage. Then a few days later he seemed perfectly fine. He just gets like this sometimes, especially around...this time of year." Beatrice explains.

I stare at her blankly. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't know what his outbursts could be that bad. Was that really suppose to make me feel better? What if he had some kind of violent outburst at me?

My fear and confusion were clearly visible.

"I don't mean to frighten you Giada, but the more you understand about him, the less threatening he'll seem."

I didn't see it that way. No matter what Cristiano did, no matter how much I knew about him, he'd always terrify me. I didn't want to make Beatrice feel bad though, so I just nod.

"I think I'm gonna relax for a while." I say, and head upstairs.

I go into the closet looking for something to wear. I didn't feel like being formal today. It's not like I really even had to. After what happened last night I was sure that I wasn't going to be allowed to leave the safety of my home for a while. I find a long blue button up shirt, and some casual pants. The shirt was too big for me, it was probably Cristiano's, but it didn't really matter, I've never seen him wear it.

I sat down on the bed, and quickly realized I had absolutely nothing to do. Sure when I didn't have to be with Cristiano I was left to do whatever I wanted, I just didn't know exactly what I wanted to do. My whole life I had been taught that my life revolved around being a Donna. I didn't have hobbies, or things I liked to do. Whenever I did have free time, which wasn't often, I read a lot.

I looked around for a book. I remembered seeing a bunch of them in Cristiano's office, but I didn't want to risk running into him. Finally, I find one in the drawer of my bedside table. It was big, and I was a little disappointed at the title. Una lunga storia d'Italia. (An Extensive History Of Italy)