the love that lasts the longest is the love that's never returned

the love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned

content warnings: one-sided love, extreme amounts of jealousy, mentions of Maeve, mention of prison, mentions of implied sexual abuse.

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She'd fallen for Spencer Reid the moment she'd first laid eyes on him.

It was something straight out of a movie, the way her heart fluttered and she felt her breath catch in her throat, his large smile and soft eyes making her feel things deep in her gut, feelings that she didn't even know existed until she met him. He greeted her with a grin and a small, awkward wave, telling her that he doesn't shake hands due to the number of pathogens passed. She was a bit disappointed, because she wanted nothing more than to feel his large hand wrap around her much smaller one for just a moment, wondering if it would send sparks through her system the same way his words did. But she felt her disappointment fade easily when a blush creeped onto his cheeks, tinting his skin a rosy pink. She immediately decided that it was her favorite color on him.

Her love for him only grew day by day, with his long rambles on any and all topics that she happily listened to, sometimes even asking for him to tell her things just so she could hear the sound of his voice and lull her into a state of peace.

She was in deep, and she didn't know how to stop falling. But she didn't want to, because falling for him was the easiest thing she'd ever done, and she was in for the ride.

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The first time he hugged her she thought she was going to burst. It was everything she'd imagined it would be and more, the tingles it sent through her body, the feeling of his skin pressed so close to her's... everything about it made her dizzy. He was warm and soft, hair tickling the side of her face as she pressed her chin into his neck, smelling of old books, cinnamon, and spearmint.

It had been after a long, grueling case, and the unsub had made a shot at her, only to miss her neck by a couple of centimeters. He'd been so scared for her that he pulled her into his arms the second he let down his gun, the shot still ringing in the air after he pulled the trigger, making the man fall to his immediate death.

She supposed she should feel a bit of fear, for just seconds before she nearly came into contact with death and he had just shot a man, but all she felt was happiness.

Because Doctor Spencer Reid was hugging her, and it was easily the best feeling in the world.

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They'd become fast friends in the couple of months following her arrival to the BAU. He'd told her about everything in his life; his mom, his dad, Gideon, Tobias Hankel, Maeve, the addictions... and she'd wept a tear for him, pulling him into her arms and saying that she was sorry all of that had happened to him.

He deserved all of what was right and well in the world. His heart was too pure and good to deserve so much hurt cast upon him, and she cursed the universe for causing someone so much pain who didn't deserve it.

But she promised to be there for him, and the watery smile he gave her in response was all she needed to know that he knew she would never leave him.

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She'd been at the BAU for about a year when they'd first come in contact with Catherine Adams. She took one look at the women's photo and saw from the small smirk on her glossed lips that this case was going to be bad. In a group of four hitmen, was it really necessary that he had to be the one to go up against the one with the highest body count? It was his idea though, so she brushed off her worries and gave him a smile, because she trusted him. She trusted him more than anyone she'd met before.

The second Catherine Adams had walked into the restaurant and greeted him, her hate intensified. The woman was acting bubbly and awkward, trying to seem as if everything between them was casual, and that only made her sick to her stomach. What was worse was the fact that Spencer was behaving the same. Whether it was just for show or not, she didn't know, but the feeling in her gut wouldn't settle, because even though it was just a trap, he was sitting across from a beautiful woman, in an expensive restaurant, blubbering like an idiot, on what was essentially a date.