Once again you come home from a long day at work. This time though, Patrick isn't sleeping. You start yelling his name and he immediately replies "I'M BUSY".
You prepare for the worst and open the bathroom door to see Patrick drinking the toilet water while he's covered in shaving cream. You sigh and say "AGAIN!?"
He replies with "I didn't know you would be home this soon". "Well why on Trisha Paytas's wig would you do it again, remember what happened last time" you say.
He responds with "I told you I wouldn't let the neighbors dog drink all of our toilet water again". "THAT WASN'T THE ISSUE YOU DONKEY" you say.
"Anyways, get in the shower right now we have to leave soon." He says "but i'm still thirsty". You look at him like you're about to throw a brick at his face and he quickly gets in the shower.
You quickly get all of your things together and pack Patrick's clothes so he doesn't look like a street rat. Once he gets out of the shower you guys get on the road.
After three hours of driving you start to doze off but Patrick has other plans. He decides to reach over the console and open your door to spice things up a bit.
You obviously wake up abruptly considering you are now hanging out of the car. Patrick is just staring at the road pretending like he didn't just purposely open his girlfriends car door while they were going 70 mph on the highway.
You start screaming at Patrick to help you and he looks you straight in the eyes and says "gotcha bitch". He then helps you up and you slam the door.
You are so annoyed with him that you crawl in the backseat just to be somewhat away from him. "Watchu tryna do my himalayan salt lamp". you now wish that you didn't have your seat belt on when he opened your door. "just keep driving you unicorn" you tell him because he has a big forehead.
After another hour of driving you are still sitting in the backseat annoyed. You look at his face and quickly look away when he notices. He looks in the rear view mirror to see you so you look up. You are now making eye contact and can sense the tension between you two.
You finally arrive at the hotel and as soon as you make it into the room he slams you against the wall. He then whispers in your ear " Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance". Then he starts to walk away but you quickly stop him and say "don't tease me like that". "Fine" he says as he pulls down his pants and says "Arby's, we have the meats".
You respond with "i'm lovin it badabababa". "What can I say, publix where shopping is a pleasure". He then walks away again and starts to pull vegetables out of his pockets. "What are you doing" I say. He says "We are farmers" and starts aggressively throwing the vegetables out of the window while screaming "We are farmers" to the people in the parking lot.
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