Disadvantageous

Chapter 16

Lydia walked down the hallway in silence beside Mycroft. She didn't know what she could say to him, everything that threatened to fall from her lips was only a plea to pardon Sherlock for his actions. However, Lydia knew Mycroft would never listen to her on that front. She could only hope that his love for his brother would cause him to let Sherlock go.

But the lack of conversation did make the journey almost unbearable and Lydia had to suppress a sigh of relief upon making it to the door of Sherlock's cell. Mycroft stepped forward and used his badge to unlock the door, pulling it open for Lydia.

"You don't have long, but this is the best that I can do," he finally spoke, giving her a curt nod.

"Thanks, Mycroft," she replied, giving him a small smile, despite doubting that he was doing as much for his brother as he could be.

However, he had allowed this little visit to take place, so there was that. When Mycroft had phoned her to inform her that Sherlock wanted to see her, she almost couldn't believe him. But Mycroft insisted that he had requested to see her and only her. Not even John was getting visiting privileges as far as she was aware.

A bit nervous to see him again, Lydia stepped inside the room Sherlock was being kept in, immediately running to him and wrapping her arms around him. Resting her chin atop his shoulder, she asked, "oh Sherlock, why did you do it? Why'd you shoot him?"

"It was the only way to protect you and Mary," Sherlock replied, finding himself suddenly overcome with emotion upon seeing Lydia.

"But I don't understand why you wanted to protect Mary. Why would you risk throwing your life away for her? She shot you!" Lydia spoke as she drew away from the embrace, much to Sherlock's displeasure.

He heaved a sigh, "I know, but she also saved my life. She phoned an ambulance immediately and shot me in a place that would not be fatal with prompt medical attention. Lydia, she was just doing what she had to to try to keep her identity hidden, you of all people should know how that feels. Do try to forgive her for shooting me, would you?"

"I can't make any promises, I was quite worried that you weren't going to pull through that night."

Sherlock's lips twitched upwards, "yes, John informed me that you stayed with him throughout the surgery. I wasn't entirely sure you still cared so much about me after everything I had put you through the last time you visited 221B. I do apologise for that, by the way. I was hoping that you wouldn't have been drawn into this. I suppose I was still too obvious."

"Sherlock Holmes apologising? You must not have very high hopes for the verdict, I'd assumed you'd only ever have apologised on death row," Lydia smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood, but that smile quickly faded when Sherlock remained silent. "Wait, you don't think Mycroft will actually have you killed, do you?"

"I have thought out all of the possibilities for my fate and I don't think Mycroft will have me killed, no, not directly. However, there is a mission that the government wishes to send me on, one that would see me killed within six months. I believe that he will find it the best verdict he can offer me."

"But you're his brother!" Lydia cried out, rage starting to swell within her.

Sherlock gave her a small smile, "yes, but I also committed a very egregious crime. I do have one request, though."

"Of course, Sherlock, anything you want."

"Would you bring Willow to say goodbye? I would like to see her one last time," he spoke softly, trying to keep his voice from breaking. He had to remain strong, if not for himself, then for Lydia. Her lips was already shaking, her eyes turned glossy with tears.

"Sherlock," she whispered, unable to form any thoughts besides his name. He had already resigned himself to his death and that hurt almost as much as knowing that she had kept his daughter from him for months, his final opportunities to spend time with her.

Sherlock stepped forward and cupped her cheek with his hand, "just promise me, Lia. I want you and her there to see me off."

Her eyes brimming with tears, Lydia nodded against Sherlock hand, causing his lips to upturn into a smile. As a tear slipped from her eye, he brushed it away with his thumb, closing the gap between their lips. Lydia's breath hitched in her throat as her eyes fluttered shut, yearning for the kiss that had been delayed for far too long.

His lips merely brushed lightly against hers at first, a bit uncertain. But when Lydia made no attempts to step away and instead leaned into the kiss, Sherlock parted his mouth, taking her bottom lip in his. As he pulled her in closer by the waist, Lydia's hands found their spot in Sherlock's curls.

Nothing else mattered in this moment except for the two of them, trying to make up for a year of kisses in the brief time they had left together. There were a million words they were trying to communicate to one another through the kiss, words they were too afraid to say out loud. They had missed their chance, it was too late now.

Perhaps it would hurt more to part knowing that the other still cared for them, but in that moment neither cared. They just wanted to feel the other's lips on theirs, their hearts racing, the blood rushing to their heads as pleasure clouded their thoughts.

Sherlock's hands travelled down her body to rest heavily on her hips, something Lydia had grown to adore. The weight and heat from his hands sent a blaze through her body, aching for more, although she knew deep down she was never going to get that again.

The door to Sherlock's room opened and Mycroft cleared his throat, hoping to break the two out of their snogging. Knowing that he was still very much on Mycroft's bad side and that he shouldn't be pressing his luck, Sherlock reluctantly pulled away, much to Lydia's disappointment. However, they kept their eyes locked on one another, almost afraid to break contact in fear that they would never hold one another again.

"Lydia, I'm afraid your time is up," Mycroft spoke up when it was clear that she was going to make no effort to leave the room.

Sherlock gave her a small nod, assuring her that it was ok to leave as he fought off the emotions within him. First letting her hand fall slowly out of Sherlock's hair, Lydia took a step away from Sherlock and promised, "I'll make sure you can say goodbye to Willow."

Afraid that if she stayed any longer, she would lose her resolve to leave, Lydia then turned her back on Sherlock and walked out of the room. Mycroft closed the door behind them and she felt her anger towards him rise to the surface.

"You're a right bastard, you know that? He's your brother and you're going to let him go off and get killed?" She spat, almost scaring Mycroft with her ferocity. "It's no wonder why people claim you have no heart, save for one made of ice."

"Lydia, Sherlock made his decision whilst knowing the consequences. Instead of condemning me, you should-"

"Don't you dare blame him! Don't you dare blame him for doing something that you were too cowardly to do! You wanted Magnussen gone, the entire government wanted him gone! He was nothing but a blackmailer, one who had the entire British government under his nail. You would have had him killed yourself if you weren't too scared to put yourself into danger!"

-

(A/N): It's been a minute! I apologise for impromptu month off, but I am finally back home and everything's starting my to settle back down. I'm still keeping quite busy, but I should have time to write again, which means that I should be back to posting regularly! I do apologise that this isn't the happiest chapter to return to, but maybe things will get better (eventually)