covert - b.b

prologue

"James," Steve spoke cheerily, hiding any nerves he'd had beforehand, "it's Steve, from college." Steve and James hadn't been in contact since they left college, both taking separate career paths. But, boy, were those college days fun. He hadn't heard a word from James in almost 20 years, and managed to get his number from a yearbook.

"Oh, hi Steve. How are things?" James questioned, in utter shock that he was talking to Steve. He remembered their college days vividly; a few parties, girls, Steve being a scrawny, little kid. He hated that they lost touch after they graduated, and was glad to hear his voice again.

"Yeah, they're good. I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime, maybe this weekend?" He wondered, biting his knuckle anxiously whilst waiting for the silence to end. Luckily, James had agreed and set the outing for Saturday, 7pm, at Paolo's Bar.

Steve found himself at the bar, sipping on a beer he'd ordered whilst waiting for James. He had no idea what he looked like, as 20 years can change someone. Steve went from completely scrawny, to a gym buff. He could only imagine James now.

When he sat beside Steve, the pair embraced for a short moment before James ordered himself a beer. At first, James didn't recognise him, he wasn't just a tiny kid anymore.

"You look completely different from college," James observed, nodding at the bartender as he handed him a beer, "life's been good to you, huh?" Steve chuckled, unable to accept the compliment he'd been given.

"Somewhat. So, James, what did you get up to after college?" Steve responded, genuinely interested in his old friend's life. Steve was nervous for his eventual questioning of his life, it hurt to talk about it. But instead he listened to James.

"You can call me Bucky, just like old times." James laughed. "But after college, I quickly found a job as a bouncer. Then, after a while, I put my degree to use and got a job as an IT manager. But, no kids, no girls. What about you?" Steve stayed silent for just a brief moment, realising that this was the whole reason he invited Bucky out, to talk about their lives.

"Remember Peggie from college?" Bucky nodded vigorously, laughing at the memorable moments of Steve being so smitten by her. "Yeah, we stayed strong afterwards. Two kids later, we're here. She, um, died 6 years ago, all of us took it pretty bad. But I'm glad I have them."

Bucky's heart dropped, Steve had suffered a great loss. "I'm sorry to hear that, Steve. Tell me about your kids."

"Rosalie and Riley, twins. They're, 22, I think? They actually finished college recently, and on completely different paths. Riley is a future lawyer, and Rosalie is a future baker and businesswoman." Steve was proud of his kids, they kept him going everyday.

"They sound like great kids, Steve." Bucky chimed in. "I always regret not having my own, but its easier for me this way. I don't think I'd be a good dad." Steve shook his head, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"I didn't think I would be, until I had them. It's a thing you learn as you go, and before you know it, you've raised them successfully into adults." Steve spoke. "I still get the feeling that I'm being a bad dad, especially recently, but they never fail to remind me I'm doing okay." He was twisting the glass in his hands anxiously, needing something to focus on.

"Why recently?"

"I've been wanting to move out of the home we have now. We need a fresh start, it will help me move on from Pegs, but the kids might not want to." Steve confessed. It made him feel awful — he didn't want to put himself before the kids, what if this potential move really hurt them? Steve thought about this for months, it plaguing his thoughts everyday. "Even if we did move, it would be especially hard for Rosie. She's a.. difficult kid. Even little things, like, she needs to be the one who serves up any meal, she needs to know where we go if we leave the house, I can't begin to imagine how she'd feel about upping and moving."

"The only way you're going to come to a conclusion, is to talk about it. They're adults, I'm sure they will understand." Bucky advised. Steve was relieved that Bucky was back in his life, he was A* at giving advice. "If you do consider moving, there's a house opposite mine that's been on the market for a while. It's a good neighbourhood, I think you'll like it."

"That sounds great, actually. We'd be close together."

Steve's talk with the twins went different to how he'd expected. Sure, both were sad that they wouldn't be able to see their friends as quickly, but they understood why their father wanted to move. They all needed this — to move on from their mother's death.