Into My Heart

LIII

ABBY

The past few days didn't seem real with everything that happened - first, Christen, then, the shooting at the Dragons' place... Everything seemed so unreal. 

When I open the door (thankfully Krisite and Sam were out for the night) after waking up from my nap, I jump a little: Christen was standing there, unannounced, holding a red rose in her hand, nervously staring at me. 

When my face breaks into a sincere smile, she cracks a smile herself, before softly saying:

"We didn't get the chance to discuss everything going on with us after... well, what happened at the hospital..." her voice breaks into an awkward cough, but somehow it made her even more attractive. She looks down, before looking at me again, continuing: "And I think it's important... uh... For me it's important to know where you stand, and w-where, uh, we stand..."

She realises that my smile hasn't left my lips, as my eyes were softer, staring a her as if I was seeing her for the first time. When I shyly step back in order to let her in and that she walks past me, I simultaneously close the door and grab her forearm firmly. She stops, surprised, but she doesn't step away.

Rather, she just greets me with those enormous and beautiful soft green eyes, and for a second I feel like the luckiest woman in the planet. When her nervous grin turns into a sincere smirk, I cannot help but smile. 

"Well" she continues before I get a chance to talk as well, obviously growing more and more nervous. As she grabs my hand and softly squeezes it, she whispers, her face getting closer to mine, causing my eyes to fall on her lips: "You know where I stand - I made it pretty clear the other day..."

Like if she cast a spell on me, I just couldn't move anymore - I simply couldn't.

Rather than trying to convey what I was feeling at that very moment in words, I simply and suddenly wrap my hands around her neck, getting on my fingertips, before crashing my lips against hers. Surprised at first, she then grabs my waist firmly, before kissing back with everything she had, as memories from the other night came back strongly into my mind. Rather than stopping, we went on kissing each other with passion, our lips dancing together as if it was our last moment together.

When I slowly pull away, my arms remaining in that position, she softly presses her forehead against mine, sighing in relief, as I whisper:

"Was that clear ?"

As her infectious laugh fill up my ears, she just responds, her eyes sparkling:

"Very... Thank God."

While her smile is literally throwing me off my game, she softly grabs my face between her hands, before kissing me in relief. I feel my whole stomach getting filled with noisy butterflies, as she smiles in her kiss. 

Pulling away, I look at her, as she says:

"When you look at me with those soft eyes of yours, that's when I know I've won everything" she whispers, her breath softly brushing my lips.

Smirking, I just playfully let out:

"Look at you being all seducive and shit. Well, we still need to clear some things up before considering anything regarding our... situation."

"Situation?" she repeats, somewhat mocking me. As I roll my eyes at her, she cracks a smile and asks: "Well, Abigail, what do you want to do then ?"

This bitch just turned the question over, I think to myself, feeling my heart beat faster inside my chest. As for now, I needed to make my emotions quiet so that I could hear the rationale side of me - although the latter was quite absent whenever Christen was around. 

Taking a deep breath prior to talking, I only speak my mind, suddenly very nervous:

"Alright, so, first thing you really should know about is that I suck at feelings. Like, I literally suck, because I never find the right words, mostly because I don't know how to convey everything that I am feeling into simple sentences, and also because I am always thinking about the worse. I've always been like that - that why I simply don't initiate intimate contact with anyone: it's way easier and safer this way. I mean, I usually just have to look out for me, but now I have two sisters and... somehow I can't get you out of my mind... I feel all those... things, for you, and I have trouble finding the right way to express all those unknown emotions, and with everything going on with your family, my guilt about your dad, and how much your mother hates me... I don't know what to say, I-"

"You've said enough, Abby" Christen states.

At first, I thought she was mad.

But then, as I saw the little spark in her eyes, I just frown, pretty confused. As my eyes shyly look away from her and that I try to get away from her embrace, she doesn't let me go: instead, she firmly grabs my hand and say in a honey voice:

"So, you feel things for me, then ?" 

Blushing, I just shake my head.

"No!"

"No?"

"I mean, yes, but I-I, uh... " I stammer, almost fainting or something. 

"In that case, I feel things for you too, believe me, and that makes me want to deal with whatever is coming our way. I wanna protect you, and everything that surrounds you - even everyone. I care about you too much to lose you."

Sighing, I just get lost in her eyes and say:

"Jesus, do you prepare your speech beforehand or what? How come you always find the right words?"

"It's just that I've had time to think about all the things I wanted to say to you during my coma and the weeks that followed..."

"Right."

As she leans in to kiss me again, she suddenly stops, turning her face toward the entrance door: for once in my life, I wished it was one of my sisters that walked into the room and made fun of us. But no - it was Mallory.

And she was covered in blood, her eyes screaming for help.