Godspeed

Chapter 21

It was with much trepidation that I asked Schuyler to let me into the doctor's laboratory, and it was only because he'd heard Quinn's instructions to me that he deigned to do it.

Even so, he did not leave Lilibet and I alone there; he took up a seat in the corner of the room and pretended to drink his tea, though I knew from the length of time he'd held the cup that it must have long since gone cold.

We were joined as well by Penn and Marielle, though they seemed to be in their own world, off in the opposite corner, speaking in whispers. Once I heard Jib's name spoken between them. I watched as Marielle began to cry and Penn did what he could to comfort her, though the look on his face betrayed that he was just as desperately worried as she was.

We all were.

Still, I had been given a task to perform: I would stick with it and complete it to the best of my ability.

Moments turned to hours as I stood there, explaining patiently in one way after another just what the machines were intended to do, and how Lilibet should go about trying to use them.

She stared blankly ahead, ignoring me, or so it seemed, until finally in frustration she sat down on the floor and began tapping her fingers against her leg again.

Just as I had noticed before, when I spoke to her directly, using her name as part of the question, she would wait a moment after I'd finished speaking and then she would begin to tap. I was determined now to take advantage of this, and I begged Schuyler's assistance for a moment.

I asked him to help me move the modified keyboards down onto the floor, one at a time, and sit them to the right and left of Lilibet.

I then demonstrated each to her, one at a time.

"You see, Lilibet? This one has all the consonants on the left and the vowels and numbers on the right," I explained. "The doctor says he knows you can read, Lilibet. Won't you show us how you can write as well?"

Lilibet kept rocking back and forth, and then finally, she began tapping on her leg.

In that instant, I had an idea.

"Look, Lilibet," I said, typing out each word as I spoke it, "This is how you use the keys to talk. You can tap out your words like you already do only this way, we will hear you. We will listen."

I tore off the strip of paper that had unrolled from the machine and held it up before her. "Do you see? The words I just spoke to you are right there. Right there."

After another hour of trial and failure, I was worn out. I dropped my aching head into my hand and marveled at the patience Quinn must have had to get her to the point where he knew her well enough to know she could read.

"Please, Lilibet." I took hold of her face gently and she seemed to ignore me completely. I released her, not wanting to antagonize her in what was already a clearly agitated state. I sighed, closed my eyes and then after a long moment, opened them again.

"I know that you must have so much to say, so much you want us to know. Or so much you want to ask." I noticed that her hand started tapping faster against her leg at the mention of answering questions. "There is something you want to know, isn't there? Something you want to ask us. Well," I picked up her right hand and tugged it away from her, placing it on the keys of the machine to her right. "Ask, and I'll do everything I can to get you an answer. Come on," I urged her desperately, my heart aching from exhaustion and my head swimming from working in such circular patterns of thought for hours. "Ask!"

I dropped her hand onto the keys and she struck one, randomly. She jumped as it snapped against the roll of paper, yet seemed to relax when it didn't make a noise as loud as a normal, everyday typewriter would.