Bluebirds Without Wings | Julie and the Phantoms

Rings

Julie led the boys to the pond in the garden where her and Alex sat close by the water, Luke staying back at the bench. She noticed the bags under his eyes were much more purple than usual, and she encourage him to rest his eyes for a bit. She didn't think he'd do it and every once in a while, she'd look back and catch him staring at her. He'd smile then pretend to go to sleep until she'd look away.

Alex dipped his fingers in the pond, too scared to press them all the past the body of water. Julie had told him about the frogs. She reached her hand inside, but she couldn't find anything but a couple of leaves and twigs. Julie asked him, "Is your mom going to bring you every time you think about Willie?" Alex sighed, taking out his hands. Julie noticed he had a silver band on one of his fingers. She looked closer and saw the letter M engraved on it.

"I have no idea." He dried his hands on the grass and stared out at the sky. "Sometimes I just want to tell them. So they don't have to lie about why they don't want us near each other. To see if they're brave enough to even face that truth. That I'm gay. I haven't been brave enough for the last few years, but I think I'm almost there. I don't care anymore." Julie looked over at Luke as Alex spoke, Luke smiling at her and then closing his eyes, leaning back to "sleep".

Julie turned her attention to Alex and watched his frown, growing one herself. She had forced herself to forget about the world outside the castle for so long, but they always showed up in her dreams. All the people expecting her to be at events dressed in a big dress with perfect hair and manners, all the people who saw her walking into the forest without stopping by the square to talk to people or go to the farming villages to teach the kids. How long could she turn away for? How long could she blame grief for all of her problems before it stopped being an acceptable excuse? Reggie said that they understood but did they really? "I wish I didn't care," she said. "I wish I didn't have to care forever."

"That's what I thought so, too," Alex told her. He plucked a small dandelion from the ground and handed it to her. "I've had really bad anxiety my whole life, and I always so worried about acting a certain way so that certain people would like me. I was at the point of having so many different faces, I wouldn't know who to be when I was by myself. And then I met Willie." Alex smiled, tapping his fingers on his knees in a beat. Willie was his muse. "He only has one act, and it's the most authentic version of himself." Julie spun the flower in between her fingers. "He's the same person in front of officials, in front of friends, in front of me. And he's a Prince. And he liked me. And despite me not knowing who I was for a while, he helped me figure that out. It's why I left the academy. Why I started going out more despite my parents. It's just nice. To finally be on my way to becoming that person." Julie put the flower in the dress of her pocket, not knowing what to tell him. He was the one that needed help when they were first walking there, and it switched on her. She played with the ring on her finger. "And I think you know who that person is, Julie. You just have to be her."

Julie who liked waking up late and having snacks in bed. Julie who didn't think it was necessary to learn ten different languages and had already forgotten French in a few months. Julie who told people she played many instruments when it was really just the piano. Julie who was never athletic but dreamt of the knight academy. Julie who dreamt of one certain knight.

"Not saying it has to happen all at once," Alex assured her softly. "But little by little, start letting go. I know I'm still working on it."

Julie's mom handed Julie the ruby ring a month before she died. Julie and her were laying next to each other in the bed, the keyboard off to the side of them. Julie held it in her hands, staring at her mom's face as if she would no longer be alive within the next few seconds. It was the only piece of jewelry her mom owned that didn't come from the royal family. It came from her mom's side of the family, a piece belonging to another side of history that wasn't recorded. "At the end of the day mi princesa, not everything is about the crown and how the kingdom sees you. It's about you." She reached out and tucked a piece of Julie's hair behind her ear, her soft hand brushing on her cheek. "You have to learn to be comfortable in your own skin, be your truest authentic self, or you'll die never having been yourself."

"Maybe after this war I'll let myself breathe," Julie said, promising to herself and to the ring. "I think you should start today." Alex looked at her and smiled. He pulled the silver band off his finger and held it between his thumb and index finger before putting it in his pocket.

"I think you're right." They both looked over at Luke who was asleep and then looked at each other to smile.

Julie was up in her bedroom after dinner, pacing back and forth. Luke was sitting on her couch, and he still seemed embarrassed that he had fallen asleep by the pond, and Julie had no idea why. He wouldn't look her in the eye, and she wanted to ask, but she thought it'd be better to wait a day or two.

"Flynn is still coming?" Luke asked her. It had been thirty minutes since Flynn said she was showing up, but she wasn't anywhere.

"She hasn't said otherwise," Julie said before going to sit down next to him. If she wasn't so nervous about Flynn, she would have sat right next to Luke, but she wasn't sure how much her body could handle. "How is Alex?" Luke checked his phone in his pocket.

"Nothing yet." Alex was set on coming out and telling his parents about his relationship with Willie. If anything went wrong, he was to come to the castle and go back with Flynn. Flynn was planning a castle slumber party in her head that Julie was trying to break up before it came to thought. But there was no stopping her, and Julie was afraid she was at the party supply store already.

Julie's phone rang and she sighed, answering it. "Flynn? Where are you?"

"Just got back home," Flynn said, almost in a whisper. Julie stood up again, looking at Luke. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean what's going on?" Julie asked raising her eyebrows at Luke. He stood up and checked his phone again but shook his head. Julie put the phone on speaker, Luke coming closer to her.

"The town is full of evacuated villagers and they're sending out the knights. A few planes flew over already," she said. Julie could hear her heart bump in her ears. "Is war starting?"

"I don't know," Julie whispered. She didn't know, and she was horrified. How did she not know?

"What?"

"I'll call you back," Julie said, hanging up. She ran out of her room and heard Luke coming behind her. Before she could get down the hall, Reggie and Carlos were running in.

Luke asked them, "What's going on?"

"Carlos, room," Reggie pointed. Carlos eyes were wide and mouth in a heavy frown. Carlos nodded but before he left, he hugged Julie for a moment, Julie feeling the terror in his bones. He didn't say anything to her and ran back to his room. Julie looked at Reggie for an answer, but he didn't say anything until Carlos' door shut close, the sound echoing through the hallway and her bones. "King Caleb is here."

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A/N: We're back in plot mode baby!