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I. 16TH APRIL 1995
1995 IS A YEAR ALICIA REMINGTON WISHED SHE COULD FORGET. Fourteen years old and unknowing of the anger that would later poison her heart and make her drown in her own head, Alicia doesn't stand out. A kid from Las Vegas, divorced parents and a big sister, she goes to school, has friends and average grades, she's . . . normal. And it isn't until later in life that she realizes how lucky she was to have tasted a life without anything to worry about except for her homework. A life without having to look over her shoulder as she silently pulls the safety off her gun and grips her knife a little tighter, one in which she has more enemies than friends and these enemies are ones with blood on their hands and a knack for killing. A life where she isn't woken up every night by the faces of people with slit throats and bullet holes in their forehead. A life where she isn't a killer.
It is funny really, how she walks down the streets, gripping her father's arm a little tighter and holding an iced tea in her clean hand which will be tainted with blood in the next few minutes. She doesn't have a care in the world, looking up at Ian Remington as he smiles down at her, white teeth glistening and eyes twinkling, looking at her with nothing but pure love and adoration.
She doesn't know, but she will.
Fourteen years old is an early age to see death. No one prepares you for it, your parents lie when you're younger : 'he's looking at you from the sky.' Right. You understand it on your own as you grow up, but you don't fully understand it do you? You never do. The question that everyone asks themselves when it happens is why? That is the true mystery of the universe, isn't it? Why them? Why now? Why not me? Questions that Alicia will constantly ask herself growing up into an adult, until she changes and suddenly, she's the reason why people ask these questions in the first place.
They don't teach you at school how to grieve. They don't teach you at all, and yet, society still expects you to suck it up, figure it out on your own and fucking move on. You can't turn bad, you're just allowed to be sad and angry and even then, you can't do it for too long or you fall into the dark abyss of this world, forgotten and never allowed to go back to the real one. Alicia thinks it's fucked up.
