the spider titan [Levi x Reader]

an abnormal

Y/N P.O.V

We're about to depart on another one of Erwins long distance scouting missions and i feel like a disaster. I hardly slept and my chest is in knots. Regardless of the state my body is in, i put on a smile and respond best i can. I didn't want Levi and Hange to worry about me.

We rode on and the more we went on the worse i got. About an hour or so in, i was eventually ordered to deliver a message to centre rank which i complied with.

I glanced one more time at my friends, Levi seemed so deep in thought, probably trying to tune out Hange. I giggled slightly and redirected my horse and i hoped that i would not end up a casualty.

The chest pains grew to a fever and the fever started to ruin my vision.

Im not the kind to go down without a fight, i hurried my horse, successfully avoiding a titan who for some reason was avoiding me.

Suddenly, the centre rank was visible from a blurry cloud and i made my way over, successfully informing cadets about the very few amount of titans we encountered. I stumbled on my words quite a bit.

"Cadet pull yourself together. Whats wrong?" He asked me and i raised my head up and tried to look at him the best i could. "Nothing, im not very well but i can make it" i nodded and quickly darted off before he could get in another word.

All i wanted now was to lie down, or drink tea with my friends but i still had a mission ahead. My head started pounding, i was in an awful state when i found myself in a small patch of trees, i was far from safe in here.

Without giving me even enough time to catch my breath, my horses' front legs fell into a small ditch sending me flying forwards, id definitely twisted my ankle. Before i could even tend to it or any wounds i had, i raised my head to be met with roughly 10 eyes all staring into my soul.

Have you ever stared death in the face? If you have you'll know that all you can hear and see is fear, and regret and your life. My life was a lie and id die with the burden of never telling my closest friends.

I waited and waited for what felt like hours but was hardly a minute, to finally meet my death, until the beating in my ears grew too loud and suddenly it all made sense. Why they weren't eating me, why i was so sick, why i was suddenly remembering.

Suddenly my body disappeared as a large yellow strike of lightning caused flesh and muscle to materialise around me, oh how id forgotten how this felt. Before i knew it, i was 16 metres tall with double the amount of arms.. and eyes. The Spider Titan.

I hyperventilated deeply as titans scattered, running away, this titans effects are the very reason im in this mess, why im stuck behind these walls, why i regret ever thinking Levi could trust me.

In poor timing, two soldiers come on horseback into this small forest, "we have an abnormal! what is that?!" One calls out and without thinking, i strike. A web is shot from my tailbone, capturing the two men. I turn around, reach down with one of my arms and crush them both.

I burst out my titans nape and quickly run down the falling corpse to my horse and quickly make a get away.

The awful feeling my titan gave me earlier was nothing compared to the guilt of killing people who are on the same side as me. Could i even say that anymore? My whole life, well as far as i can remember, has been to hope that just one day i could leave the walls. Do i still work towards that?

As i ride back to where we are supposed to come together, i panic. If my titan can come out like that, could it do it again? What would Levi think?

I gathered all my thoughts and haltered my crying, i had to do anything i could to keep this a secret and deal with this later.

Eventually, i get back to the barracks and sit on my bed hugging my knees. I started remembering what had happened and what i was dealing for. I was in charge of The Erratic titan, also known as The spider Titan, a titan that was so horrifically unpredictable, that they locked it in a child and forced the child into a new civilisation. I was an experiment, a bomb.

A scout informs me Erwin wants to see me, and from that moment i decide that no matter what I'm thrown, i was still Y/N and i was fighting for humanity and my right to have an enjoyable life with my friends, with Levi...