nutrients/ prince phillip x salt lamp

silly baka lamp

prince phillip was dying. simply put, he was a fucking old hag. his skin was wrinkly, his eyes sallow and sunken, but most importantly, he was deathly sodium deficient.

he let out an aggravated sigh, as he took in his ugly palace bedroom surroundings in lame old britain. fuck british people why do accents exist.

anyways, there was a soft, warm glow spread across the area from his cheap primark bought salt lamp. mf was probably not even real salt.

ugh, stupid baka. how phillip despised tacky things.

the color was ugly too!

he suddenly felt dizzy on his bed. "ugh not anothet sodium attack!"

phillip felt himself shriveling and becoming homosexual as he died.

"but no! i will survive! for there is more WAP for me to devour!!"

so with that thought in mind, prince phillip simply lived. he decided he'd need to eat some salt though. stupid rawr xd.

the closet salt to him was his dreaded lamp. fuck that bitch. but desperate times call for desperate measures.

so phillip stood up, nae nae'd over to the lamp, and stuck his ugly ass tongue out. it was grey.

he tentatively stuck the tip on the lamp.

"MM YUM" he exclaimed, tasting the mineral nutrients on the tip of his tongue baka.

the texture of the lamp was exhilarating. tbh it's kinda bussin. so he kept licking.

it was almost erotic, the way he felt the chalky surface grow wet under his mouth muscle.

it was almost as if...

"HEY YOU BAKA STOP LICKING ME LIKE A PERV I'LL KILL YOU!"

where did that voice come from???

oh.

the salt lamp, that dreaded salt lamp, which tastes really good and kinda gave phillip a baka boner, just talked.

"i must be dreaming...."

UNTIL NEXT TIME, STAY TUNED SUSSY BAKAS!!