Six feet under • Ethan Dolan

- 03 -

"I made dinner C" Grayson walks down the stairs,

"I made spaghetti and meatballs"

"Sounds good gray, let me just go get changed really quickly" I say trying my best to simply walk past him.

Grayson stops me from taking another step before pulling me into a tight hug.

"We will talk about your appointment afterwards, k babe?" He says looking down into my eyes.

"Sure" was all I was able to choke out before his hand reached my cheek, pulling me into a deep kiss.

" I'll set the table" he smiles, finally pulling away from the kiss, walking past me towards the kitchen.

-

His clothes still hangs in our closet.

Grayson had tried convincing me of cleaning it out and putting it in donation, but I truly can't bring myself to do it.

Each piece of clothing has a memory attached to it, throwing it away would be like throwing away all the years I shared with E.

I skim through all his hanged clothes, remembering all the moments we shared.

One of them, standing out the most to me.

His pink hoodie.

I pull it off the hanger and hold it against me, instantly remembering the the wonderful night we had when I first saw him wear it.

I bring it up to my nose, taking it's sent right in.

Goosebumps instantly taking over my body.

It still smells exactly like him.

After all this time, its as if he never left.

~

'Ethan's on his fifth attempt at winning me a giant teddy,

"Face it E, your never gonna make it" I annoyingly inform Ethan as he tried concentrating on the fair game.

"We've spent half an hour on this Booth, can we please move on?" I tried convincing him for the millionth time tonight.

"Third times a charm Carter" Ethan says rolling his eyes.

"THIS IS YOUR FIFTH TRY ETHAN" I finally snapped,

"THE UNIVERSE DOSENT KNOW THAT CaRtEr" he yells back.

"YES" Ethan jumps up in excitement once he had finally made it, rushing over to me picking me up and spinning me in excitement.

"I did it I did it" He cockily cheers doing his annoying victory dance after putting me down.

The man at the booth quickly handed E the Giant teddy with a sarcastic smile, as if telling us to get the hell away from his both.

"I remember the summer after sophomore year of high school, we were at a fair just like this one, and we saw that this guy had just won his girlfriend a giant teddy. You were in complete awe at that cute gesture, you also informed me that night that no one had ever won you a prize at a fair and how much you would love it when or if someone ever did,"
he says while handing me the giant teddy.

"At that moment I knew I had to be the one to make that small dream of yours come true, I wanted to be the first person to win you a giant teddy bear at a fair game. And I wanna be your first at many other things, like being your first serious relationship" he says while taking a few steps towards me.

"So Carter Gray Ambrose, will you be my first real girlfriend?" He asks with a huge beautiful smile on his face, the smile that slowly faded when I didn't respond.

I was in complete shock that he remembered that small and what I thought was an insignificant conversation we had last year.

"You don't like me like that? I'm so sor-" I couldn't let him finish that sentence, mostly because I was scared that if he did I would lose my chance to finally be with him.

I answered his question by connecting our lips for the very first time, making sure he knew how much I would love to be his.

To say I felt butterflies would be an understatement, at that moment I felt the whole zoo'.

We were both pulled back into reality when we pulled away from the kiss.

A cool breeze hit us cause goosebumps to form up my spine.

"Here, put this on" Ethan pulls off his pink sweatshirt immediately handing it to me.

"You didn't need to do that E" I pull the hoodie over my head, taking in it's smell.

~

that summer changed my life forever, for both good and bad.

I pull off my shirt, replacing it with his hoodie. I step out of my jeans and into his sweats.

I flick off the light of his closet and walk downstairs, ready to join Grayson for dinner.

"Dinner is served" Grayson smiles, turning around to bring the food over to the table.

One look at me was all it took for his expression to completely drop, instant regret taking over my body.

He sets the food down, taking a seat directly in front of me.

"How was your appointment?" He asks coldly, not daring to look up at me.

"It was good." I say, toying with my food

"Good" Grayson says, he doesn't bother picking up his fork before abruptly getting up, storming into the laundry room.

I heard rustling before seeing him walk out with the black trash bag, rushing upstairs, I instantly rush after him knowing exactly what he was going to do.

I walk into our bedroom seeing him tossing all of Ethan's clothes into the bag.

"Grayson what are you doing?" I ask not daring to get in his way

"Something I should've done months ago" he says, still tossing the clothes into the back bag.

"Why Gray-"

"BECAUSE IT KILLS ME CARTER! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME HAVING TO SEE HIS THINGS EVERY DAY! YOU SHOVING HIS PICTURES DOWN MY THROAT EVERY CHANCE YOU HAVE! " He yells getting close to my face.

I've never seen Grayson mad, especially not at me. Not even after what happened to Ethan.

" OF COURSE I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS GRAYSON! I LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! I-"

"I LOST MY FUCKING BROTHER! my twin brother Carter." He whispers the last part, falling onto his knees.

"It-it's so frustrating seeing you every day not being able to move on! I OUT OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW ITS HARD! But I out of all people know you can get through this, I did at the end of the day." He says taking my hands in his.

I fall onto my knees pulling him into my chest, tears filling my eyes.

I hadn't realized how selfish I was being this whole time. He's right, I'm not the only one that lost someone that night. Grayson lost his brother, his partner in crime. And it's all my fault.

"I'm sorry Gray"

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