( 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄-𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐃 ) 𝐍𝐈-𝐊𝐈

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

CHAPTER EIGHT

       I HAVE RARELY EVER FELT ANGRY.

       Little things barely created an impact in my thought-out path of life because I made sure to prevent allowing myself to be in situations that I didn't like. So, something as little as a small pebble standing in the middle of my way did not bother me at all. But as I continued to walk, more pebbles gathered in front of my path, the soles of my shoes slipping above its round shape and causing me to lost balance.
At some point, I was bound to fall.

       And so, I found myself on the ground with the small rocks digging onto the skin of my palms and knees, scraping its layer as I let out a hiss. I only thought of the feeling of pain stinging the affected areas and frustration clouding my insides.

       One obstacle was enough, but adding more only fueled to the irritation that rarely bubbled up beneath my chest.

       Today, I experienced a series of unusual and unfortunate occurrences, ridding me of my will to think rationally and tearing away at the thin patience that resided within my heart and mind. Today, on the way to school, I fell and scraped my knees on the side walk with my palms landing on a dirty wet puddle. I received a failed test that I was sure I studied two hours for. And someone had elbowed my cheek whilst I was getting up from after I tied my shoelaces in the middle of the cafeteria line.

        It was safe to say that I have experienced enough physical pain for this day, and it eventually transcended into me being emotionally drained. And so, I sat here in my classroom all alone and decided to wallow in this thing called 'self-pity' that other people would usually do, although it did not make me feel better at all. If anything, I was beginning to grow more agitated.

        "(Last Name)-san." Ni-Ki calls out, but he halts by the door of the classroom with his eyes a little wide upon seeing the bruise on my cheek and the scrapes on my bare knees. He slowly walked towards my direction, sitting on the chair right beside mine silently.

       I clenched my jaw, forcing a nod and a robotic, "Hello."

       "Are you ok-"

       I cut him off with a shake of my head, "No."

       "O-Okay." He mumbles, swallowing the saliva that had built inside his lips from nervousness. The silence that enveloped them didn't quite feel comforting like it always would, and instead, it was cold and awkward.

       He pursed his lips, turning his head to glance at the side of my face whilst I persistently acted as if he was not there. He then asked carefully, "How was your day?"

       "It was not okay." I answered simply with a strained pull on my tone that I let him hear.

       "Okay, well what happe-"

       "I don't want to talk about it." I cut him off once more.

       He shook his head and released a sharp sigh, "But it would make you feel better if-"

       "No, it won't. I know myself better than you, so could you please not tell me what to do?" I grunted out, my voice turning a little louder than usual.

       His eyes narrow at my words and he retorts, "Will you at least let me finish what I'm about-"

       I shook my head firmly whilst my face scrunched up in irritation at his persistence, "No, I already know what you are about to say. You're going to tell me to talk about what happened and try to let me open up about what I am currently feeling. But I would just like to let you know that I don't want your help. I don't want to talk to you or to anyone right now. You are not going to hear about my feelings because I won't speak about it with you."

       As soon as I finished my words, I felt my chest rise and fall heavily. Although, just a second after that, I felt an ache twist against the bone at the center of my ribs, jabbing through the heart that caused me to frown. I wasn't sure as to why I felt this way when I was only being honest.

       The corner of his lips turned downwards and I noticed the corner of his eye shine, turning glassy. Immediately, the ache in my chest only heightened upon seeing his crestfallen face. He immediately tried to cover it up as he stood up, turning around to leave the classroom.
But on his way out, I found my hand lifting up slightly towards his direction, unintentionally mumbling, "Wait." as I watched him go without a single word left behind.

       He turns around for a moment and my heart rate spiked up, a glimmer of hope trailing through my eyes dancing with guilt. My lips were about to pull to a small smile that I tried to practice showing him, waiting for him to give me an awkward tight-lipped smile that he always would give upon seeing each other. But it was all shattered when he opened his mouth to say his own honest words.

       "You can't do everything alone. But if that's what you really want, then who am I to stop you?"

       And I never knew that another person's truthful words that I have brought upon myself could hurt me this badly.

wrote this today because i was
angry lmao. the readers in my
other wattpad account were
posting irritating comments.

and sorry if my writing's a
little rusty today, i just got
home :(( but anyway, my
carnival album arrived ! i'm
happy to have the ni-ki
photo cards owo and the
picture books especially !