No More Olympus

Chapter 11

"Gray," Hermes called out, shaking his sister awake and adding his voice to the half a dozen whispers of prayers that were being sent to her at the moment, "Gray."
"Hermes," Athena moaned, refusing to open her eyes, "What did I say about waking me up?"
"Something about having to heal a broken spine," Hermes shrugged off, "But I thought this was an exception because uh... your tablet is ringing."
Athena opened her eyes and found herself sitting in a big leather chair in the cabin of Hermes's private jet.
The warm morning sun shone through the windows illuminating both herself and Hermes.
Ares and Aphrodite were nowhere to be seen.
Athena reached over to her tablet, flipping the cover off to reveal that Jacob was requesting to video chat.
"Who is it?" Hermes asked as he sat back down in his chair,
"Shut up," Athena demanded, "You're not here. You don't make a noise, kapeesh?"
"What are you Italian all of a sudden?" Hermes mocked.
"Kapeesh?" She repeated.
Hermes mimed a zipper over his mouth before turning his attention to his phone screen.
Athena looked cautiously at her brother as she accepted the call.
After a moment, Jacob's large, tanned forehead came into view.
"Whoa!" She chuckled, "Hello, Jacob's skull."
"Hold on," Jacob mumbled, moving the camera back to an appropriate distance.
"Hello, rest of Jacob," Athena joked, her face lighting up as he came into view.
"Hey, Beautiful," Jacob greeted, "Did we wake you?"
"No, no, I've been up for a little bit," Athena lied, "Whose we?"
"Oh, you see, Dess missed her momma," Jacob explained, turning the camera to face his side, where Odessa was sitting up on the couch looking into the camera with wonder.
"Hey, sweetie," Athena called out, waving into the camera, "How's the sweetest girl in the whole wide world?"
Odessa reacted almost immediately, her face lighting up as she tried to reach for Athena on the screen.
"Whose that?" Jacob asked, egging her on, "That's right, that's your mommy."
"How's she doing?" Athena asked, "We haven't been separated this long before. She's not having any... separation anxiety?"
"Oh no, she seems fine," Jacob said, putting her at ease, "She's been hanging out with her old man. I don't think she's noticed you're gone."
"Well, that makes me feel better," Athena said dryly.
"So uh..." Jacob hesitated, "How's Ares?"
"Ares is..." Athena trailed off, looking around the cabin for any sign of him, "Somewhere around here."
She glanced over at Hermes, who pointed to a white door and mouthed, 'he's in the shitter.'
"But everything's okay?" Jacob asked, "He hasn't brought up too many crappy memories or..."
"I mean, of course, he has," Athena shrugged off, "But it's not a big deal. I can handle Ares."
"You sure?" Jacob insisted, "You know you can tell me, right? He may be a big dude, but I could still try to kick his ass."
"I'll let you know if it comes to that," Athena chuckled, trying to keep out of her mind the gruesome outcome of a potential physical encounter between the two.
"So, did you find Ares's ex?" He asked.
"We did," Athena awkwardly nodded.
"And did she have any leads," He followed up, "You find any other family members?"
Athena quickly glanced up at Hermes, who had since put down his phone to observe her conversation with great interest.
"Nope," Athena lied, "None at all."
"Well, keep at it," Jacob began to say.
"I'm sorry," Hermes interrupted, ignoring the look on Athena's face that was so intense it could have brought pause to a Titan's rampage, "I cannot allow this to go on any longer."
The tablet then disappeared from Athena's hand as it was whisked away from her at super speed.
"Hermes!" Athena snapped, leaping out of her chair to recover her tablet from the messenger god standing in the middle of the cabin.
"Oh, crazy lag," Jacob remarked, not realizing that the strange spasms in the camera were caused by Hermes's lightning-fast speed rather than poor internet, "Oh uh... hello, who are you?"
"I'm the family that she hasn't found yet," Hermes introduced himself, easily dodging Athena's attempts to retrieve the device. "The name's Hermes, James Hermes, I'm Athena's favourite baby brother, is that my niece? Good looking kid right there, she looks like her mom with those little gray peepers."
Athena finally stopped trying to steal back the tablet and instead glared at him with said gray eyes, out of view of the camera, of course.
"You know you look really familiar," Jacob began, "Are you in basketball or something?"
"That I am," Hermes smiled, "They call me the miracle maker."
"Oh my god," Jacob exclaimed, "You're James Hermes."
"Yeah, I just told you that," Hermes chuckled, "Why, you a fan?"
"Not really," Jacob admitted, "I'm from Alabama, aka football country."
"Fair enough," Hermes shrugged, "I have Cowboys tickets next season. You want in?"
"Are you serious?" Jacob asked, thinking it was too good to be true.
"Sure," Hermes confirmed, "We are family now, we should get to know each other, and I have all sorts of stories to tell you about this one right here."
Hermes spun the camera around for only a moment, but it was more than long enough for Jacob to see the annoyed look on his wife's face.
"First story being back on Olympus," Hermes began putting on the slow, thoughtful tone he always did when telling stories, "It was a beautiful morning when Athena decided she wanted to enjoy the cool air with a nice little morning flying over the countryside. Little did she know that our father had woken up on the wrong side of the bed and chose to express that with a small tornado off the west coast-,"
"Hermes!" Athena whispered quietly enough that the microphone wouldn't hear her but that her brother would.
Hermes paused.
"He doesn't know," she mouthed.
Hermes quickly understood.
"Of course, I am joking," He told Jacob, turning on a dime and using his natural talent to lie, "Just a little, same name as old gods humour. I'm gonna hand you back to Athena now, goodbye."
Hermes awkwardly handed the tablet back to Athena, who gave him one final rage-filled glance.
"So uh..." Jacob began as Athena relaxed her face, "Your brother is a multi-millionaire."
"Apparently," She sighed.
"That's quite the discovery," Jacob remarked, "That must have been a shock, so is everyone in your family named after a Greek god?"
"Seems that way," Athena nodded, thinking of ways to get off this topic.
"Is Athena on the phone?" Aphrodite asked, walking from behind a curtain which divided one section of the cabin from the main section, walking into the sunlit lounge area wearing nothing but a smile.
"Her hubby," Hermes mocked, seemingly not even noticing her state of dress or lack thereof, "And where have you been?"
"Introducing myself to your flight stewardess," She smiled suggestively, "So that's the legendary Jacob, hand it over. I just have to meet him."
"Whose that?" Jacob asked, looking over Athena's shoulders for the new voice, "Oh, is that Ares's ex?"
"Not like that, you're not," Athena refused, ignoring Jacob, placing her thumb over the camera to block any view.
"For Gaia's sake," Aphrodite groaned, pulling a large blanket off the nearby couch and wrapping herself with it, "Good enough Mrs. Grundy?"
Athena sneered at her. She sighed at the inevitable and handed the tablet back over to Hermes before sitting back down in defeat.
Hermes grabbed Aphrodite's shoulder and pulled her into view of the camera.
"Aphrodite, meet Jacob, Athena's baby daddy and my new best friend," Hermes joked.
Athena sighed and rubbed her temples.
"Nice to meet you, Aphrodite," Jacob greeted politely.
"Oh, hello, daddy," Aphrodite purred, immediately reacting upon seeing Jacob's face.
"Alright," Athena said, shooting out of her chair and snatching the tablet out of Hermes' hands once again, "That's enough."
"Oh, come on," Aphrodite chuckled, "I was just playing around,"
"We all remember what happened one time you were 'just playing around,'" Athena reminded her, choosing her words carefully since she knew Jacob could hear her, "It ended with a horse and a heel injury."
Hermes chuckled at the memory.
Athena was, of course, referring to the Trojan War. The conflict between Troy and Sparta started after Aphrodite played forceful matchmaker and 'inspired' the Trojan prince Paris and the Spartan queen Helen to run away together. Angering Helen's husband Menelaus, the brother of the then king of Sparta Agamemnon. Long story short the conflict ended after the Spartans snuck into Troy by hiding in a giant wooden horse that the Trojans believed was a peace offering and gratefully brought into the city. The Spartans then jumped out and attacked the town, and the hero Achilles was shot in the heel for his troubles.
To the Olympians, this ridiculous strategy was the second funniest thing they had ever seen. The only thing more amusing was how angry Athena got over how the scheme actually worked, repeatedly insisting it was a joke.
Aphrodite threw up her hands in frustration, giving Athena her wish and remaining silent.
"Alright, babe," Athena turned her attention back to Jacob, "I should probably get going?"
"Oh, sure thing," Jacob nodded, "You look like you're on a plane. Where are you headed?"
"Back to Greece," Athena said hesitantly.
"Oh wow," Jacob remarked, sounding slightly hesitant himself, "You're really on quite the quest. At least remember to take pictures and buy novelty t-shirts."
Ares walked out of the bathroom, seemingly forgetting to flush or wash his hands.
"Okay, I will," Athena agreed, quickly trying to finish the conversation before Ares interrupted, "Goodbye, love you,"
"Hold on," Jacob interrupted, "Alec's right here. Let him say hi."
Jacob turned the camera toward Alec, who was lying on the floor watching cartoons on the TV.
"Alec, say hi to your mother," Jacob requested.
"Hi, Mom," the five-year-old waved, never taking his eyes off the TV.
"Hi sweetie," Athena greeted, "I love you. I'll be home before you know it."
"Hello, Jacob," Ares called out over Athena's shoulder as Hermes and Aphrodite wordlessly tried to convince him to go back and wash his hands.
"Good morning Ares," Jacob greeted, turning the camera back on himself, "Did you get a chance to use the torch yet?"
"I did," Ares nodded, "It works fine."
"Glad to hear it," Jacob smiled.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later," Athena said, bringing the conversation to a close.
"Okay, goodbye, beautiful," Jacob said, "Have fun in Greece."
"I'll certainly try," Athena said reluctantly, "I love you."
"Love you too," Jacob said back, "Bye."
Athena then ended the call.
She then placed the tablet on the table next to her and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh, he's a catch," Aphrodite smiled.
Athena turned to face her fellow gods, Hermes and Ares looked as though they witnessed something impossible, Aphrodite looked more amused than anything.
"What?" Athena asked defensively.
"Nothing," Hermes began, "We just never thought we'd see you so... what's the word."
"Lovey-dovey," Aphrodite offered.
"That's it," Hermes confirmed.
"I am not 'Dovey,'" Athena defended, "And for the record, that's not even a word."
"Yes, you are," Ares debated, opening the nearby mini-fridge and pulling out a beer before sitting down.
"Ares, it's nine in the morning," Athena reminded him.
"Only in this time zone," He reasoned before taking a sip, "Don't change the subject."
"Just because every other romantic relationship one of us has had ended in thinly veiled hostilities," Athena argued, "Doesn't mean that because I have a healthy marriage, I'm all of a sudden lovey-dovey."
"Hey, not all of our family's relationships ended badly," Hermes defended, "Like Hebe and Hercules."
"He's dead, and she was wife number four," Athena argued as they all took a seat in one of the several chairs throughout the cabin.
"Eros and Psyche," Hermes continued.
"Ugh," Aphrodite groaned in disapproval.
"Okay, that's one," Athena agreed.
Hermes thought for a moment.
"What about Hades and Persephone?" He asked, sounding unsure.
"Really?" Aphrodite questioned, "They always seem kinda cold at council meetings, and Hades is just a creepy dude, all pale and shit, that can't be fun to be married to."
"We're getting off-topic here, though," Hermes said, "It's just a contrast. We all remember you as being the stick-up-the-ass big sister we all feared, but now you're getting way softer, even sounding a little girly around those kiddies of yours."
"Call me girly again, and I'll tear those winged shoes off with your legs still in them," Athena threatened.
"You see, that's the Gray we all know, the one we love to fear," Hermes grinned, clearly not taking the threat seriously, "So when will we meet this guy in person?"
"Never," Athena said bluntly, "The last thing I need is for him to see you run faster than a bullet and start freaking out. It's bad enough that Ares is in our zip code."
"You are going to tell him, right?" Hermes asked, "I mean, he is going to figure out you're immortal eventually, you know when he's in the retirement home, and you're in the... give me a minute of a punchline."
"I'll tell him when the time is right," Athena assured them, "It's just not that time yet."
"But when you do tell him, then would you introduce us?" Aphrodite requested.
Athena hesitated.
"Oh my gosh," Aphrodite groaned in disbelief, "You wouldn't,"
"Well, can you blame me?" Athena defended, "I finally have something real here, a relationship based on who I am rather than who I'm related to or what powers they worship me over. The last thing I need is for him to have to deal with Hermes zipping around constantly, you and your inability to maintain any kind of relationship without sex, and Ares being... well Ares."
Ares shrugged and continued to drink his beer.
"I'm sorry, but it's either this life or that life," Athena continued, "And I have to choose one."
"I'm still thinking of something to go with the retirement home joke," Hermes said, "...sorority home? Yeah, that's a winner."
An awkward silence fell upon the cabin,
"Anyway," Ares began, breaking the silence, "Has anyone returned to Greece since the fall?"
Both Hermes and Aphrodite shook their heads.
"I have," Athena admitted.
"And?" Ares asked expectantly.
"It was a short trip," Athena explained, "A quick in and out, I visited Hephaestus's forge, removed or destroyed all of his more dangerous creations and tools, and made sure Typhon was taken care of."
Typhon was the king of monsters and ancestor to the most fearsome beasts that had been sealed in Pandora's box. His power also rivalled that of Zeus himself.
"Hold on," Aphrodite interrupted, "You killed Typhon... how?"
"I didn't," Athena explained, "I had a friend do it."
"That's some friend," Hermes exclaimed, "Where is he now?"
"He's dead," Athena said hesitantly, "Killed in battle."
"What can kill the guy that killed Typhon?" Hermes asked.
"It's dead as well," Athena explained, "It's a long story. They killed each other."
"Um, excuse me," said a new voice.
All four gods looked up at the curtain Aphrodite had previously emerged from to find the head of the brunette flight stewardess peeking out, carefully using the curtain to cover the rest of her.
"Sorry to interrupt," she said, "But Miss Newton said to let her know when..."
She trailed off.
All eyes were now on Aphrodite.
"Well, duty calls," Aphrodite smiled, rising to her feet and disappearing behind the curtain.
The blanket she was wearing was then thrown back into the cabin, landing on Athena's head, who quickly flung it away in disgust.
"You know she's worked for me for like three years," Hermes commented, "I never knew she was a lesbian."
"She may not be," Ares added, "Has that ever stopped Aphrodite before?"
"Fair point," Hermes nodded.
"Do you have earplugs?" Athena asked.