-This is a true story about my life-
All i want to do is cry. I have a few people i can talk to but, they dont understnad what im going throught, although they think they do. Let me start off by taking you about a year back--- (Names have been changed)
It was the week it first snowed in 2012. Everything was amazing, i had great friends, and a great life. There was nothing for me to worry about. I went to school, when there was snow and ice still on the ground. I text all my friends, asking if they were coming in, and all were except one. Jennie. It was was the funniest school days i had had in ages. Me and my friend Rochelle had a laugh in english, and then we told our other friend, Emelia about it. Everything was great.
The next day i had Maths before break. I always met rochellel outside the block, and then we'd walk to Emelia and Jennie together. But while i was waiting, i saw that she just completley blanked me and walked to Jennie. Thinking she just didnt see me, i walked to Jennie's class, where her and Rochelle were standing. I made my way over, but as i did i got hit by a snowball. It wasnt unusual to get hit at our school. Everyone through them at eachother, so i didnt make a big deal about it. But this time, Jennie and Rochelle wouldnt stop laughing and having these glances at eachother. But i didnt take any notice of it.
As the week went on, Rochelle stopped meeting me in the places we'd usually meet, so i'd have to find them somewhere around the school, since they'd never text me back when i asked them where we were meeting. When i look back, i think that i was so blind, to have not seen that something was happening. But i just shrugged it off at the time.
It was the last day of term, and i made my way down to the canteen to look for my so called friends. They wern't there, so i asked a girl i knew, and thought was a nice person, Charlie, if she'd seen them. She said she hadn't, but said she'd keep an eye out. So i walked out the canteen, only to see my "friends" walk in at the same time. Since i came out the second door, they had time to run away from me. But i saw them, and found them. I walked over, and they were giving eachother these glances, like i was some kind of freak. I just sat at Lunch that day and didnt talk to anyone. It was killing me. I didnt understand what i had done wrong.
As soon as i got home that day, i told my cousin, Lauren. She was the only person i could trust to tell. She was my real best friend. After telling someone, i seemed to last that week of no school. I still had flashbacks of what had happened that last day.
Then the day we went back to school, was the day i knew they hated me. I came out of additional science and met them from break. They were only outside my lesson because Emelia was also in my class. As soon as i came out they just looked at me. And then looked at each other and laughed. Its quite funny actually, how they thik i didnt know. Anyway, i was too weak to say anything, or to just leave them. That lunch we went to a table, and i sat on the end, the chair had a bit of food on it so i flicked it off. Jennie said that if i sat on the chair then she would never be friends with me again, and they all laughed, and i could feel the blood draining from my face. I had to laugh it off too so i did. Then she started going on about One Direction and how she couldn't get tickets to see them on tour. I had previously got some tickets, so i thought that we could finally have something to talk about. But then he ruined it and said whilst looking in my eyes "Anyone who got On Direction tickets is a slut" She was trying to say it as if she meant anyone, but i knew that it was me she was calling a slut.
That day when i got home, My mum said that Libby had told her about my friend problem. She helped me through it which was great. But i remeber that night, sitting infront of the fire, and crying my eyes out. That was the first time i was depressed. That was my trigger.
That Friday, i finally had the courage to text them and ask them if they liked me. Thats all i said, in one simple text, but it really got me paniking. They didnt text back until about half and hour later, when all three texts came through at the same time. It was obvious, they were chatting out it, asking eachother what to say. One from Rochelle, was really mean. She simpley replied "Not really no, you dont speak much" Emilia's said "Its not that we dont like you its just that you dont speak much" And Jennie's "Im sorry if you feel that way, we dont hate you we just feel that your too quiet, sorry" I only text Emily back, because hers was the easiest to respond to. Now i wish that i was more harsh, but back then i only put "I dont really fit in, you dont have to apologise" I never actualy said, im leaving. I just text charlie and asked her if i could hang with her. Then we became best friends. It was the best thing i had ever done!
