l a s t b r e a t h e

19 3 3
                                    


"Loser". "Ugly". "Worthless".
The words are flying around in my head giving me a headache. "It's true", my subconscious screams, "it's all true". My head pounds as tears run down my cheeks.

"You can only breathe anyway and you are too worthless for that."
"Yeah right, stop mistreating the air and die". I hold my head, my mind is circling, my head is exploding. It's all way too much. Loud sobs left my mouth but were muffled by my pillow.

I can't anymore, I don't want to anymore. I don't deserve to live, everyone has a talent or is particularly good at something. And then there I am, an ugly, stupid little thing. As if in a trance, I reach for my bedside table and take out the blade. In my head I hear my friends say, "No, no, no, no." I can't, but I have to. I don't deserve to be here. I am worthless and stupid.

Just an ugly stupid girl who pollutes the air. You were fine, I'm useless. I take the blade between my fingers and a tear falls on it. Should I really? I want that to be clear. I put the blade on my arm and cut once across my entire forearm. It's a small but deep cut that satisfied me. Blood is running down my arm and more tears are rolling down my cheeks, it's not the pain that makes me cry, no, it's much more the numbness and indifference in me.

I think about my life again, I barely kept up in school and things are not going very well at home either. It hurts, breathes and moves, every single bone hurts. I don't know what to do next. Another sob leaves my lips as I run the blade over my artery. One cut, one cut could end everything here.

I think about my friends again, I see everyone in front of my eyes and they are yelling at me not to do it. I close my eyes, my cheeks are wet, my head is pounding and my heart is beating fast. A broken "I'm sorry" leaves my mouth before I take my last breath and squeeze.

the end

I know it really didn't take long, but yeah, I'm a little happy with it :)
In my defense, it looked more on paper!

All the love
-L

Last Breathe || English translation✓Where stories live. Discover now