reason » i. sae

reason

For Itoshi Sae, football has always been his life.

It made him feel alive, yet restless with the adrenaline rush he got whenever he played football. It made him know how far he is compared to his peers when they compete. It made him aware of how Japan would never be suitable for him because of the higher-ups, and that's why he chose to play for Spain instead, because he knows he is good enough.

But then, why did he want to be acknowledged by the guy--the prodigy who's three years older than him but has to stop playing due to his foot injury in one of the matches--when he hated him so much?

Is hate really the right word?

Sae doesn't know, but he doesn't like how his eyes always seem to wander to the guy whenever he scores. Sae doesn't like how he envies those normal players who are acting friendly with the guy because they know him longer. Sae doesn't like how the guy never looks at him like how he used to look at [Name].

Maybe at some point, he noticed how similar they were, and he did not like it.

He truly dislikes [Full Name], yet he seeks approval from him.

A contradiction indeed.

×

"And the last player, Itoshi Sae!"

Sae jogged to the field after hearing his name had been called, he stretched a bit and focused on the players. Analyzing them, and trying to connect with his instinct while also not relying on it too much. He just did it like he usually did, and he will be fine.

Letting his burning spirit to control how he moved, he never lets anyone steal the spotlight from him. By understanding how the ball works, using the most useful tactics, baiting and trapping, he keeps scoring until the game ends with his team's victory.

It feels bland.

Victory does not feel as exciting as it used to be. Not when the only person who could keep up with him--or maybe surpassing him--stopped playing and became the unofficial advisor instead. At least he didn't fully quit the football world, sometimes he told himself.

But since when did he care about other people?

For all he knows, he only cares about the football aspect. That's why he feel conflicted when he has to confront his inner feelings.

"You're awesome! Thanks to you, we won easily, haha!" A slap on the back was given to him, snapping him out of his trance as he glared at his teammate who had just hit him. He only got a sheepish smile in return and he chose to look for the one that matters--[Name].

Sae frowned when he saw the advisor smiling solemnly. It's a rare sight to see [Name] not being harsh because he is known to be strict regarding football. But for those mediocre players to receive a smile just because they did well? That was unprecedented, and maybe he felt jealous. Just a bit.

His frown deepened when they made eye-contact and [Name] only nodded at him before turning around. It's not fair, but he was never one to show his feelings, so he sighed and sat down instead.

"You do realize you always have that frown every time you look at [Name], right? Don't like him or something?" His teammate crouched in front of him, trying to gauge his reaction through his face with a confused smile.

"It's none of your business," Sae answered shortly, face void of any emotion.

Pouting, the other just continues to look at Sae who's blatantly ignoring him. He couldn't careless about other people when he got his own issues. As long as no one finds out about his so-called hatred, then all is fine.