[zero] happy birthday (ambrose feyrer & maddox milligan)

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trigger warnings!

please, DO NOT read any further if any of the following subjects trigger you: this chapter mentions bullying, panic attacks, depression, trauma, blood, death and attempted suicide. 

"Wake up, fucker

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"Wake up, fucker."

 Ambrose Feyrer mercilessly jabbed his finger against his brother's cheek, his eyes narrowed at the older boy as he rested his head on Ambrose's shoulder. The college student's eyes instantly snapped open and looked over at his younger brother, blinking slowly.

"Ow," Noah Feyrer whispered and sat up, yawning as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Only half-awake, he ran a hand through his messy brown hair. "Am, watch your mouth."

With an eye roll, Ambrose simply stuck his tongue out at Noah. The fifteen year old then turned his dark brown eyes to the bus window, watching as the crowded and snowy streets of New York City flew past them. Wait, fifteen? No, that wasn't right... He was sixteen. It was December 13th, after all— his birthday. 

Ambrose chuckled to himself. He forgot his own birthday... classic Am. He shook his head, finding amusement in his disability. But hey, that's what happens when you have short term memory loss. Yes, like Dory— Ambrose here is straight out of fucking Finding Nemo. (Minus the kidnapping, talking sea creatures, seaguls and world travel, obviously... obviously.) Hell, the farthest Ambrose has ever traveled out of his hometown, Brooklyn, would be the one hour bus ride to New York City. Besides, it's not like he could ever travel very far on his own, anyway. He's gotten lost walking home from school in the past, cause he forgets where he's supposed to go. Sometimes even his meds can't keep him from forgetting, and he takes a lot of meds for his "mental condition." Just call it what it is: brain damage. There's no need to sugarcoat it for him.

He's sixteen now. He's not a child anymore, as much as his brother still treats him like one. Although... Am knows that his brother really has his best intentions at heart, and he's grateful for that. But it certainly doesn't help their situation that a few months ago, Ambrose started passing out at random and now has frequent blackouts on top of his memory loss. This meant more meds, more hospital visits, more bills to pay and MORE jobs for Noah to juggle on top of his college classes and photography gigs.

Secretly, Ambrose wished he wasn't so fucked up in the head, because then Noah wouldn't have to do everything on his own. And despite the lengths Noah goes to hide the truth of their financial situation, Am still knows how much he struggles paying rent and keeping their pantry filled... So, yeah— Ambrose knows at least one thing for certain: his life is no Disney movie. (That doesn't keep him from breaking out in song, though.)

With a sigh, Ambrose yawned tiredly. He always hated bus rides... he suddenly felt Noah's fingers pry off his gloves and press two, small cylinders into his palm— pills.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 01 ⏰

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