Welcome to Baker Street

107. Heart on fire

"I love you."

There is a sudden moment of stillness in the room. Nobody dares to move a muscle as Thomas' declaration hovers in the air.

Both John and Jim are staring at the bodyguard, but their faces exhibit two opposite expressions; John gapes bewildered while Jim grins as a deep satisfaction settles in. His little puppets are outdoing themselves in this round.

Sherlock, on the contrary, instantly gazes at Giulia to study her reaction; upon hearing those three words, she stopped dead in her tracks, shutting her eyes close. Yet he can't read her right now.

She is the first to budge, breaking the spell of immobility. She turns swiftly on her heels and shakes her head.

"No, you don't. And if you really do, then you love me the wrong way. I don't want to be loved like this. None of the men who ever said they loved me truly did; none of you was capable. If someone were to really love me, they would have to accept all of me, the whole package. This includes my family (and Luca never agreed to that), but also my trauma and my ghosts from the past—and that's the department in which your proclaimed affection was lacking," she hisses.

Sherlock listens carefully to her and blinks, stunned by the pain in her voice. He doesn't know much about feelings, and he has always regarded sentiment as the ultimate enemy of his rigorously logical mind. Unlike him, though, she knows exactly what she is talking about. She not only has the courage to give her love to others, but she also possesses the maturity to ask for the right type of love in return. She knows what she wants and won't settle for anything else.

Thomas jolts forward, restrained by the chains around his wrists and ankles, and protests, "What do you mean, Giulia? I've always been by your side. For God's sake, I saved your life. I put you in contact with the MI6, and I did everything to protect you. I know all about your past."

"Yet you asked me to put it all behind me to start over with you," she objects. Did he really think she would let it all go?

When he hears the rage in her answer, he falls back against the backrest of the chair and sighs heavily, his eyes lowered to the ground.

"Was it all that bad, imagining a quiet life for the two of us, far away from all the threats that were still looming over your life?" he murmurs, his voice tainted with sorrow and disappointment. He presented her with the happiest prospect that anyone in her condition could dream of. Yet she refused it without a second thought. She didn't want peace and would never see him as anything more than a mentor, a friend.

His aching tone tugs at her heartstrings, and her icy face faintly softens.

"It wasn't bad. What you suggested might be a dream of many, but it wasn't mine. I told you: I needed answers. I wanted to chase after the perpetrators of the attack. What you offered wasn't the life I desired."

At that moment, Jim intervenes to torture Thomas even more and fakes a sympathetic tone.

"Women are so fickle. Sometimes, you must wage a war to win them over. They can be ungrateful, too. You were ready to give her a proper life, treat her like a queen, but she... Oh well, apparently she preferred someone else over you." He gestures towards the woman standing between her flatmates, and his eyes linger on Sherlock.

Thomas follows the direction of Jim's finger and grimaces at the scene in front of him.

"And look at your life now, Giulia," he retorts curtly. "You're running on the very edge of life and death."

"And I've never felt more alive," she replies, staring back. "This is the life I want," she affirms, spreading her arms open. "The excitement, the danger, the adrenaline; that's what I've always been after. You, of all people, should know that. I was so restless when I was locked up in my gilded cage of the Consulate. You trained me to face all sorts of threats. What did you expect?"