As You Turn Away [John Cena]

[2] How Do I Breathe

I just had a wakeup call

Wishing that I never let you fall

Baby you’re not to blame at all

When I’m the one that pushed you away

How Do I Breathe –Mario

I watch as my home of nine years disappears from the review mirror, just go John, and don’t turn around. I repeat in my head, the further I go the thicker the air gets making it hard to breathe it was suffocating the thought of never being with Liz again.  “This isn’t right…” I utter under my breath, the street was starting to blur with the tears in my eyes.

Finally at a save enough distance, I pull over to the curb laying my head on the stirring wheel. “I can’t do this…” I utter to myself, feeling like shit for leaving the love of my life out in the rain like that. Liz has been there through everything, if only I could tell her. That’s when the tears start streaming down my face just like her, why can’t I have both?

“They both mean the world to me…how do I choose?” Taking in a sharp breath pulling back the tears, no matter how much I hurt, I cannot show it.  

Nothing feels right on the way to the hotel, I have had Liz in my life since I was a teenager. How would I function without her? Her smile flashes before my eyes, I choke back tears as it switches to the face from tonight, completely vulnerable and afraid.

There it was, The Garrison Inn Boutique, its brownstone building just as I remember all those times I came here with Liz. The rows and rows of windows all lite up, with happy customers mostly couples celebrating their anniversaries, just like we use to.

“John, where are you taking me?” Liz asks giggling in the thick night, my hands over her eyes chuckling at her childlike behavior as she bounces under my arms. The cars fly by in busy Newburyport, the city was buzzing tonight, moving my hands we stare up at the brick building.

 “Happy anniversary, Love!” I exclaim, jumping in front of the building with my hands out wide doing the spirit fingers with my goofy smile I know she has a weak spot in her heart for.

“What’s this place, Dork?” she asks laughing, hitting my shoulder as the people around us stare like we are out of our minds.

Pulling her in by the waist, she was pressing against my body, there was no place on earth I’d rather be then here with her in my arms. Those blue eyes of hers stare up at me, “This is where my parents went for their honeymoon, and they swear this place is where all the forever couples go. And let’s face it babe, you’re stuck with me forever!” I wink with a smirk, she rolls her eyes.

“Only because no one else will have you,” Her serious look quickly drops and like a child she throws her head back laughing hard as I glare at her jokingly. “This is sweet of you to bring me here, I love you John…” Her smile softens and we get in one of our rare serious moments, “Forever, and not only because I have to!”

My smile widens as I stare at the face of an angel, this woman was perfection, no matter what anyone said. “I love you so much more, Liz…” her arms wrap around my neck tightly, her soft lips against mine my grip on her waist tightening with passion as I lift her off the floor to carry her inside.

 “Monsieur Cena, is it your anniversary already?” The French owner, Monsieur Garrison, asks flipping through papers trying to find the date.  I blink plainly trying to recall entering the building, “I knew it was close, but is it the 11th already?” My eyes close to the scent of lavender that never fails to surround the lobby, Liz’s favorite smell.