Midnight, March 15, 2021. The Ides of March. Papa Djon sleeps in his suburban Louisville Mansion. He tugs on his stuffed elephant. "Papa Djon Notter. Papa Djon Notter." He jolts awake. "Pizza?" Papa asks. The short ghost lands his feet on the ground, and touches Papa's shoulder. "Be not afraid, Papa Djon. I am Gaius Julius Caesar in his pubescent form, Little Caesar if you will." His voice cracks. "I came, I saw, and I want to give you hope." Little Caesar opens the palm of his other hand. It glows. "I would like to bestow upon you the power of love, friendship, strength, and speed." Papa is confused. "Why me?" "I am Little Caesar, the auditor of pizza. The Emperor of North American Supply Chains. Pizza has fallen in quality across the board since your departure. You are magical, and you don't even know it. You just have to believe in your– What is that thing?!" The Papa lifts up his stuffed animal. "It's an elephant." "It's frightening. Anyways, you just have to believe in yourself. You are everyone's Papa." Djon smiles. "I believe."
Ten days before, Lob has a meeting with the COO. He has been constructing a plan for years to finally get himself a Lobster wife, or rather, multiple. "I do not like kids, I swear!" Lob yells. The COO is puzzled. "Then why don't you try to kidnap an adult?" Lob facepalms. "I'm not gonna wait 10 years to marry these kids, idiot! I'm going to sell them on the black market in exchange for 6 adult lobster wives. I'm going to have a Lobster harem. Maybe one day I'll add Lobster concubines to it!" "So in 10 more days, on the Waxing Crescent Moon, we will kidnap 3 girls between the ages of 6 and 10 to be sold on the black market, and we are going to get 6 wom– I mean lobster wives." "Precisely. Maybe if you behave, you can have one too." The COO has a shred of humanity remaining, so he politely declines. He hasn't been fully clawed yet. 'Why do I go along with this? This monster lobster furry of a CEO? Money. But blood money is worthless! No it's not, I can give it to charity. Would the charity need to exist if people like me didn't?' These questions will haunt his soul for the rest of time.
YOU ARE READING
The Story of Papa Djon
FanfictionPapa Djon Notter is the CEO of a pizza company called Papa Djon's, the fourth largest chain in the country. He had it all. His face was shown in commercials across the world. "Decent Ingredients, Decent Pizza, Papa Djon's" was his signature tagline...
