We Are Enneagram

Sleeping Pills

After what had happened with the car accident, I decided to take things at an easy pace. I breathed in and out steadily as I glanced at my watch.

"Son of a bitch!" I ran into my car, turned on the engine and rushed to my son's school. He is prone to have social issues with kids and doesn't like taking the school bus, so often times I drive him to school myself. However today it happens to be that I was late to pick him up.

As I pulled up to his school, I looked around for him, but I couldn't see him anywhere. I managed to spot a teacher and decided to ask her where he may be. She looked down at her chart she had been holding and after a while, she had told me that Tony had taken the bus home.

I thanked her, and mentally cursed at myself. Work, Tony, Tony's education. They were all piling up on me. Hell, it was all too much that you can't imagine how I missed the days where Rebecca was here...

She would have helped me out with Tony and made me feel like there was no struggle in life. But she's not here anymore, and even still I have trouble getting that through the thick skull of mine. Why did she have to leave me...

All alone, with our son.

As I drove back home, I noticed Tony playing with some kids I've never seen before. They seemed like good kids, and they all seemed to be enjoying each other's company. Maybe this change is good, maybe he'll finally be able to grow up like a normal kid. I stayed there watching him play; I smiled and noticed how happy he seemed until he noticed me, and ran up to me.

"I thought you might have been busy at work, so I took the bus....and I met new friends daddy!" He smiled and I waved to his friends. They looked around tony's age and seemed like good kids, the type of kids all parents love. One of the kids seemed asian with short black hair and just a little taller than tony with brown eyes and a large baseball t-shirt. The other kid was a smiliarly tall , blonde, short haired boy who happened to be toothless with his two front teeth. I chuckled and asked Tony if he wanted to come inside and eat or keep playing with his friends.

But in the end he chose to eat, and said goodbye to his friends.

We walked into our lonesome house filled with mountains of boxes. We didn't really have much stuff of our own, most of the boxes were filled with Rebecca's things that brought joyous and dour memories.

"Daddy when will we unpack more?" I rubbed my forehead and began thinking.

"It's Friday and I have no school tomorrow, can we unpack till midnight, PLEASE" He tried to pull off the famous puppy eyes that never happen to fail. He may be a kid, but he has the smart thinking from his mother. I couldn't help but smile at his request.
"We'll stay up till 9 and then it's off to sleep. For now, we must eat," I said. He smiled and brought over an old chair and sat at the countertop eating some to-go food I had brought home considering the fact I can't cook very well or yet the fact that we didn't have the supplies to cook. I could tell by the way tony was eating that he was very hungry indeed. Ketchup was smudged all over his childish face, and within minutes he was finished and yet filled with even more energy than before. We usually talk about our day when we eat or just watch tv but since I hadn't plugged anything in yet, we couldn't really watch tv, and he seemed too hungry to talk.
But when he finished, he helped clean up and eagerly began going through some of his boxes. I went ahead to join him and in the first box I touched, I found one of Rebecca's favorites.
A vintage music machine. I never understood how they worked or why she had such strong interest in archaic dusty things like this, but it made her character shine which is what caused her to catch my attention when we met.
"Aghh SPIDER!!!" I quickly dropped the machine back into the box and ran up to my son while taking off my shoe at the same time. I saw him frantically pointing to a rather large spider right in the middle of the wall. It's brightly colored body clearly showed it was poisonous. Tony doesn't freak over things at random.
He's been bit by a spider before and faced a horrible reaction and since then I've been strict on making sure our house has no bug infestations. I should put poison around soon.
I slowly crept closer to the spider and slammed my shoe against it, with a resulting crunch sound of it's bones getting demolished by my shoe.
I looked back at Tony and aside from the minimum panic, he seemed fine but rather tired.
"How about you go to sleep, I'll kill all the spiders and tomorrow we unpack. Deal?" I suggested.
He rubbed his left eye and followed me upstairs, his small fragile hand in my own.
The hallway was a bit steep and creaky, but in a second we reached the door to his empty bedroom consisting of only a bed. But the second we were about to cross the the doorframe, Tony refused to enter the room and asked to sleep in my bed for the night.
Knowing how stubborn he is, I let him and sat the the edge of my bed, hearing in his soft breathing turn into a rheumatic sleeping pattern.

As I headed downstairs, I cleaned up some odds and ends and headed to the kitchen grabbing the folder of information and a box full of things I used to equip when I would work or do research at home.
I rolled in my large bulletin board into a well sized room near the entrance. This room was a simple old green and dark floor boards with nothing but my desk and the things I had just brought in with some rusty chairs.
I might as well fix things up, and so I opened my box and spread my things while turning on my small lamp leaning down like a depressed person. Next to the lamp I had some photos from recent cases still and the it in the empty trash can. The rest of my things were just maps, useless sheets of paper, and desk supplies. In the bottom was the folder of the case I was currently solving. As I sighed, I sat at an old beat down foldable chair and took a deep breathe before opening the folder. I read every detail and tried to form every solution. I still needed to head to the apartment, and after that I'll be done with this and move on.
*Pang*
I grasped my head and took a sharp intake of air. Fucking migraines...
Dropping the folder to the ground, I headed for a box with medical supplies in the kitchen. I scrambled through all the bottles until I felt one I haven't seen in a long time. It contained the name Rebecca. I put it aside and hurriedly continued searching until I found what I needed, and swallowed the pill, hoping it will relieve me of this sharp pain.
As I sat once again, looking through some information, I felt more and more exhausted when it was barely 11:37pm. Rebecca's pills sat on the countertop, teasing me with it's memories I have grown to abhor and hope to forget.
That's when I couldn't help it and I felt myself slipping further to sleep, my eyes struggling to stay open.
And one thing was for sure, the second I was on my verge of sleep, I....I saw Rebecca.
I know I did.